During the “New Rules” segment of Friday’s episode of “Real Time,” Bill Maher was despondent that nothing seems to work when it comes to taking down Donald Trump, and mined ancient Greek theater for inspiration.
Citing “Lysistrata,” the Aristophanes comedy in which the women of Greece stop having sex with their husbands in order to force them to end a war, Maher implored Melania Trump to divorce Donald.
“Kick him to the curb, slap away that hand for good. No more public embarrassment, no more porn stars, no more stealing your makeup,” Maher said as a photo of a recently-tanned Trump appeared onscreen. “Toss his boxy clown suits on the front lawn, just tell him ‘I’m leaving you, and I’m taking our child.’ He would be stunned. ‘We have a child?’”
Maher admitted that isn’t likely to happen, but he wondered whether or not it would help if Melania “had a buddy” who could also divorce their husband. That’s when he turned his attention to “another former model, who’s also married to a super rich, Republican Monster,” Rupert Murdoch’s wife, Jerry Hall.
Maher said the two women have plenty in common including that their husbands are “ruining the world.” “Jerry, you left Mick because he was f—— everything that moved,” Maher continued. “Rupert’s f—— the whole planet.”
Maher argued that marriage is a particular weakness for both Murdoch and Trump, given how many times they’ve been married. “When you’re Donald Trump, wives don’t leave you, you leave them,” Maher joked. “He’d fall apart if Melania ever said ‘Donald, there’s nothing keeping me here, I can’t love what you have become, and I found where you hid my passport.’”
To ram the point home, Maher imagined how embarrassing the tabloid coverage would be for trump, via some fake headlines:
“The Trump Divorce: How Melania Lost 200 LBs of Flab,” that joke being an obvious reference to Trump’s weight.
“Melania Better Than Ever! Says ‘I’ve Never Felt More Not Dead Inside.’”
And finally, “Melania On Oscar De La Hoya: ‘Best Sex I Ever Had.’”