Evolution in Action: ‘Florida Man’ Skips Dialysis Because Can’t Bring Lifesize Trump Cut-Out
From the Department of “This is not the Onion,” we bring you the story of the “Florida Man” (who else?), who determined it best to skip dialysis in protest rather than endure the life-saving process without his full-size cardboard cut-out of Donald Trump at his side.
And they wonder why we refer to them as a cult.
Jesus, these people.
The New York Daily News brings us the news of the man who presumably has a family that loves him anyway and is let out to navigate the world alone:
A Florida man is fighting a hospital for the right to bring a life-sized cut-out of President Trump with him to dialysis treatment.
Nelson Gibson reportedly refused to undergo the medically needed treatment after staffers at a Port St. Lucie hospital told him he would have to leave his calming cardboard Donald image behind.
Get a fcking dog, dude! It would have a better haircut and be more sanitary. Or get a stuffed animal dog. You like to pretend.
Gibson believes that the hospital is being politically correct in its censorship. Yes, it is. It is being correct in attempting to police incorrect stupidity, political or otherwise, within its halls. It has a duty to attend to mental hygiene, too.
It is a damn good thing that I don’t need dialysis, don’t have it at the same time and place, and that the hospital doesn’t allow cardboard cut outs, or I might consider bringing a life-size cut-out of Stormy Daniels, practicing her profession, with an added message from her about being happy she’s moved on to bigger things.
Yes, that’s creepy, but what am I going to do? I’m going pound for pound on creep here, if I were there, that is.
“He believes that God had placed Trump in his path to help him along this journey,” Gibson’s son, Eric, told the Washington Post.
Given this man’s mental acquity, and the resulting limited employment prospects, it might be more accurate to say that God placed Obama in Gibson’s path. After all, he’s getting dialysis in the first place, and not having it ruled as a pre-existing condition. Not that any of it would do any good, seeing as how the guy would rather skip it and die of kidney failure, holding his carboard Donald at home.
Maybe he could be buried with his Donald cut-out?
Yeah, yeah, that’s not nice, either. But …
What happens when this guy needs a colonoscopy? Might be an almost orgasmic experience …
I gotta stop.
But don’t you dare offend them and call the MAGAs a cult. I mean, don’t offend cults, by lumping these people in with perfectly normal cults.
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