While our nation burns to the ground upon hearing that Trump has essentially welcomed Russia in to screw the Democrats once again, we must occasionally amuse ourselves one way or another. It is always a treat to check in with Paula White, the official White House spiritual advisor who “says” she doesn’t take a salary, but from everything we know about this woman …
Anyway, she went to heaven!!
No, she’s not dead. Not clinically, anyway. She just got a free tour, I guess.
I should note, we do have to take her word for it. But, would such godly woman lie or exaggerate about a trip to heaven?
She uses this story to preach the prosperity gospel, telling her followers that she was suddenly pushed to the floor by a heavyweight. As far as we can tell, she doesn’t believe it was just Trump leaping, trying to be “commander in chief” while grabbing …
Supposedly, the push to the floor caused a sudden ascension to heaven, so I guess we do know for sure it wasn’t Trump. We’ll let Paula pick it up from here:
“I literally went to the Throne Room of God,” she said. “There was a mist that was coming off the water, and I went to the Throne Room of God, and I didn’t see God’s face clearly, but I saw the face of God … I knew it was the face of God.”
“He put a mantle on me and it was a very distinct mantle,” she added. “There was a mantle and I saw it very distinctly, the color was like a goldish, a yellowish-goldish … and then I saw the Earth for a moment, and [God] brought me back, and he put me in certain places, one being the White House, and one being certain continents.”
Wait, wait, wait.
The whole thing is just total bullshit, obviously – the vague description of things she “saw clearly,” all that. But, “Put me certain places, one being the White House, and one being ‘certain continents'”?
Now that’s special.
I have been put on “certain continents” myself, got my ass on one right now, actually. Indeed, about the only thing she is saying here is she is “pretty sure she was not on an island, or in the water.” There must have been a lot of brown-skinned people around, or she likely would’ve named the “continent.” Unless, of course, she was just talking out of her ass and couldn’t really think of any specific place because someone might ask her what it looked like. She would end-up describing the giant mountains and glaciers of Australia or something and would have given it away.
Anyway, “certain continents” – nice of God to do that.
Oh, and “put a mantle on”? I’m confused about that because as far as I know, a “mantle” is something above the fireplace where you put pictures. But maybe it has another meaning. Paula seems to know, god knows what it actually is.
She then said that it wasn’t until the next day that she knew she was fully out of her visit.
How did she know? Because she was back on the right continent? She didn’t have a mantle? She couldn’t really see the face anymore but she did see the face when she was there?
This woman holds an official position in the White House.
A friend of the blog here who is nice enough to email on occasion, M.R., a priest, would have a field day talking with this woman. (I try to answer all emails, and enjoy hearing from all of you).
Wouldn’t we all love to have a talk with this woman? So long as we got to ask very specific questions, that she had to answer … honestly.
Here’s Paula: