We asked Jason to live blog this speech because we don’t like him and because he’s hilarious. Bold italics represent Trump words to the best we can, and Jason’s comments in normal words.

Nicole

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YouTube is having “sound” issues – maybe I’ll get through this after all.

Trump arrives to sound dubbed with “I’m Glad to Be an American” playing over everything. Not sure that I’ve ever been more embarrassed to be an American, but whatever, play whatever they want.

DAMN IT – Sound coming through!

YouTube channel covering this going in and out. Maybe baby Jesus really does love me. Probably not.

Oh god, I hear him.

Thanks everyone.

Shut-up.

All I can say is the fake news doesn’t get it

ROAR,

THEN he says hello. WTF?

South Carolina is the home of thousands of hard working American patriots,

It was also the home of the people who fired the first shots on hard working Americans 160 years ago.

Fake News! Trying to figure “this” out for years.

Points at “a lot of cameras”  boooooo. He’s going to get someone killed.

Thanks to those great congressman and senators,

I guess because they saved his ass from impeachment.

It’s great to be part of the “great American comeback,”

Ballsy to say it after the Dow dropped 4,000 points, a.k.a. “blow back.”

Completely rebuilding the nation, and the United States military.

The same military that fell out of the sky and vaporized Osama Bin Laden under Obama, that one.

Democrats are trying to burn it all down.

If he’s referencing his administration, yes, he’s telling the truth.

Democrats are working to erase your ballots and destroy democracy.

Not funny. He is preparing these people for when he declares the election (if he loses) to be invalid. MFer.

Sound coming and going because God knows that I may not be the world’s best guy, but so long as this guy is around, I am not the worst, either.

Democrats politicizing the coronavirus, I “did” – past tense – one of the best jobs. 

The little sound that I am getting seems bent toward sedatives tonight, rather than Adderall. He needs one or the other, and either half or double what they’re giving him. Hard to tell.

Someone said to me “Mr. President, sir, they keep trying to get you, they tried Russia Russia, Russia, they tried the impeachment hoax, and it’s all turning, think of it.

“This – Coronavirus is the new hoax”

HOLY SHIT!!!

Here’s Trump at his rally tonight in South Carolina dismissing worries about the coronavirus as the “new hoax” pic.twitter.com/Q58d7dI1cb

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) February 29, 2020

Our country is doing great. We are so unified?? Never been a movement in the history of our country like now.

Yeah well maybe, but it has happened in other countries, Germany, Italy, Spain, Russia Russia Russia …

Didn’t know that 100,00o people die every year of the flu, who knew? We haven’t lost anyone to Coronavirus, we’ve lost nobody but the fake news …

Their camera just went off … Please god, please turn it off YouTube, PLEASE.

Oh for godsake, he asks the camera to show arena, at least one does. Then he bitches “they never do.” One just did. This guy …

USA! USA! USA!

They never show the arena, because it is thousands of great people.

Thousands of people of this state (and mine) also fired on the United States a while ago, but no hard feelings.

Dems saying horrible things, even though they’re doing a great job. Dems want to hurt the people of this country, … trade deals, … suddenly talking academy awards, best movie of the year made in South Korea …

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT, and he cannot keep a straight thought in his head.

I could only say “that” in South Carolina –

The sound was skipped off some. I am terrified of what he said that can only be said in South Carolina.

Mad at Academy Awards, ratings down.

Obama won one, he did not say.

From the Academy Awards to …

We need to prepare for the worst for Coronavirus, and this administration has taken more action than any in modern history. 

Ordered China shut down, Democrats criticized, but now saying thank you?

He’s maybe in need of some Adderall.

“Talking Point: It is Donald Trump’s fault.”

Whatever he’s addressing, he’s right, it is all Donald Trump’s fault, except the Academy Awards.

Democrats were not happy about Trump quarantining people.

Trump ordered the people quarantined after he flew them back from China, now Coronavirus breaking out near BOTH airports at which the planes landed. He forgets that part.

Border security is health security:

Dirty immigrants, oldest trope in the book.

The wall is going up magically, it is 132 miles,

There is no wall, and Mexico isn’t paying for the wall that is not there, and not a wall.

Back to infection, immigration.

I am doing well in the polls

Despite the polls showing him doing poorly.

I’m harrassed more than any president in history,

Except the presidents who were assassinated or showed some courage, he didn’t say.

WE TAKE A BREAK BECAUSE MY BEST BOSS NICOLE SENT ME ANOTHER BOOK, she rocks. I am learning to read and this one has great pics!

Back to Trump again because I am covering this. Nicole is not always nice, one could say she has a sense of humor.

I call it MSDNC. It’s worse than CNN.

In the inverted Trump world, that might be true.

Something about Comcast – he’s not happy about it. They’re terrible people, except when they paid him a fortune.

STFU.

The show was doing great! 

The presidential reality show isn’t very good, I said.

I lose sound for an extended period, perhaps because I did something extremely nice once. Or perhaps because God thinks Nicole’s sense of humor went a bit too far this time.

He’s still talking about the show!! HOLY SHIT – it was off five minutes!!

Blessed silence …. again …. and again …

18 years! Of something.

Since he last divorced a wife old enough to cut her own meat??

Okay, he is back talking five more years, then said maybe nine, maybe 13, he is preparing people for the ultimate takeover, because maybe the constitution will be in the garbage.

Term limits of 25 years.

Pass something in the senate for 25 years –

Yes, since the constitution will be out the door, sure, only “pass” things through the senate, fck the House.

I need five more years to get things solidified,

He might be talking the 3rd Reich U.S. version, don’t know.

“10 more years,” a crowd at President Trump’s South Carolina rally just started chanting.

Trump: “We’ll set the term limit at 25 years” and said Senator Lindsey Graham will help get it passed. pic.twitter.com/6izgISJ5uy

— Rob Way (@RobWayTV) February 29, 2020

Hoaxes!!

Yesssss. That’s what we want to hear.

Talks about all those things he’s done. It actually sounds like the part of the speech that is written, which is 1/20th as long of my coverage. I have to talk to Nicole …

GREAT STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA!!

Maybe they’ll be the first to bomb Los Angeles!!

Sleepy Joe will not figure out which state he’s in. If Trump did that once it would be the end of the world.

He’s talking third person again, which is going to screw up my coverage. But, the world won’t end because Trump has done it about a dozen times.

People like to say Trump’s lost it.

Yes.

Can you imagine if I said a fraction of the mistakes Sleepy Joe makes? After last debate I thought Sleep Joe would be out of the election, he was terrible. 

PROJECTION ALERT.

A Democrat said “Mr. President, it doesn’t matter who’s going to win, you are so far ahead in South Carolina it is meaningless.”

Yes, with respect to the general election, that part’s true.

Someone is dead.

It isn’t Trump, so I have to keep going.

Recently took out the world’s top terrorists,

Said by a man whose bone spurs kept him from taking people out.

As I keep winning, Washington Democrats … silence … keep on losing their minds! Nervous Nancy, … people… bunch of losers. You have a front seat to the craziness of the Democratic party.

We have a front seat to craziness.

Something is not so easy. Ask mini-Mike.

Trump isn’t talking about making money, because Mike thinks that’s pretty easy, especially compared to …

Is that the worst debate performance in history?

 No, Mr. Stalker.

Steyer is not that wealthy. 

 Let’s compare!! Show us your taxes!!

Tim is a great congressman.

Who?

Who would be the weakest candidate against me? If it is permissible by law, I have a lot of little booby traps, let’s see what happens about that ..

OMG. He’s talking about the race for president!! Booby Traps?

I just broke the record for number of people in the arena.

Congrats, Biff.

Who would be the best candidate for us? Let’s go through them, we won’t include Steyer.

Because Steyer is richer than him.

This pollster hates Trump’s guts (Talking about Fox) they never replace this guy …

Because he’s accurate, Trump didn’t say.

Mini Mike is gone. 

He gave up!

Yeah, maybe he found a better way to spend his 60 billion. Ironically, Mike’s $60 billion is $65 billion more than Trump’s worth.

Pochantas!! She is mean!! Should we leave her in or out!!

She is mean to him and that’s why I love her.

We’re down to Sleep Joe and Bernie.

The two people that can wipe the floor against me,  he did not say.

He wants to know who’s easier for him to beat. Crowd roars at Bernie and Joe the same amount. He thinks crazy Bernie has it.

I have more Indian blood than Elizabeth Warren.

That is a lie, he is bloodless, and the little blood he has is too cold to test.

Can’t have chokers as president.

PROJECTION

Millions of Democrat voters are joining our movement,

I cannot explain the polls showing me losing!!

I wonder what “they” (Democrats) say when they go down the road and see these groups (the crowd) gathered …

They say: “My god they gave these people drivers licenses!!” That’s what they say.

Cameras, show the people!! Big crowds!! 

He is obsessed with crowd sizes, I guess it is important to talk big sizes when you have little hands, short fingers and the porn star calls you “Tiny.”

Invites Scott and Graham to the podium. Both look like they’d rather die, honest.

Tucker is on TV on Fox … I have never once looked so lovingly on Tucker, desperately wishing Nicole had asked me to cover Tucker, or The Dukes of Hazzard.

Judges!! Brett Kavanaugh!! Great job, Lindsey.

Your timing was perfect, Lindsey. You jumped right in to block the testimony that would’ve shown the calendar date showing the party.

Opportunity zones!!

He must be talking about the accounting office for the Secret Service.

My word count is at 2,000 – Nicole, I am charging by the word!!

Tim Scott is talking. Thank god. No, he’s not great, but he’s not Trump.

WOW, Scott just said thank you for putting up the with never ending bullshit!! These are evangelicals who spank kids for saying that word, roaring. Fck them.

Lindsey Graham: and thank you more than anything else for putting up with the never ending bullshit you have to go through pic.twitter.com/eonHEiX1cU

— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) February 29, 2020

Not a doubt now that YouTube simply skips and picks up where it left off. I have no hope of surviving this. Nicole, send the check to my wife.

Scott is now crazier than Trump. That is impressive. South Carolina is Trump country, lemme hear you screammmm!!!

Great economy, lemme hear you screammmm!!!

If you want four more years of president Trump, lemme hear you screammmm!!!

I just screamed, and no not bc I want four more anything, except Valium.

Trump is back. Lemme hear you … never mind.

I get asked, How do you speak in front of 25,000 people, and 10,000 people …

Trump did not say, “I pin vet needles in my ass filled with Adderall and Valium, lemme hear you screammmm!!!” But he clearly should have.

He’s asking all kinds of red people to come to the podium. I Don’t Care, Nicole, Do U?

James E. Livingston got the Congressional Medal of Honor. Thank you, James.

Yes, thank you, James Livingston, no politics there.

He is talking about the Congressional Medal of Honor, or something. I am still praising the real heroes like Livingston.

Reading all the stories of these brave people hit 19 times, falling out of helicopter, those are tough deals …

Not as tough as ACTUALLY falling OUT of a HELICOPTER, Captain Bone Spur.

Invites governor up to say a few words …

I note that my word count is at 2.2K words. Charing a dollar a word, it’s about a quarter of what one deserves … thankless work …

“President who loves you!” Who are we going to send back to the White House for 4 more glorious years – s

Said by a southerner. No one says glorious like southerners. Has like, 6 syllables.

TRUMP is BACK: $10 per word!! Lemme hear you screammmmm!!

We have gotten seven million off of food stamps, and that’s a good thing, they’re making much more money …

Liar. You just kicked people off.

Unemployment rate nation wide has hit lowest rate in 50 years!

Yes, when the average person without a college degree has to have 2 jobs to get by, that will happen.

Runs off a bunch of economic stuff, he clearly enjoys inheriting the Obama economy.

Democrats favoring illegal aliens over their own citizens, expect to win in 2020 with historic share of black vote come election day!

The Russians are just that good.

Paid leave, Republican child tax credit …

He’s clearly reading at this point. Less fun, $.50 per word.

I don’t want to be president of the world, I just want to be president of America …

You would claw your fcking eyes out to be president of the world.

All around the world we are demanding trade that is fair, and all time favorite word, reciprocal … rebuilding our country …

By bankrupting farmers because you can’t get a deal?

Oh no, we’re on immigration.

Democrats favor free welfare for illegal aliens … they want to treat illegal aliens better than our military.

Ha! Even the crowd knows he’s lying. They didn’t boo very loud at all.

Jesus, he’s just talking crimes committed by illegal aliens. I can count the mass shootings committed by his voters!

Send them back!!! Send them back!!! Crowd chants.

This is when things get scary.

Trump is getting animated, things are getting weirder.

Never Trumpers are a dying breed, they’re on a respirator, mouth to mouth recistation, I’m not doing it, you can do it.

If he brings me back by mouth to mouth, one of us is going to die.

27,000 soldiers protecting our boarder, and they only do it for Trump, they won’t do it for Sleepy Joe … they go into nests, they call them nests, and they knock the hell out of them, I am going to get them in trouble, bc the press wants me to be politically correct.

Scary. He’s talking about the toughness of his stormtroopers.

It sure appears that I have been covering this for 90 minutes, except YouTube keeps picking him back up. Lemme hear you screammmm!!

We don’t have to give money to sanctuary cities and states if they don’t want to work with us …

Does that mean the opposite is true? California pays a lot more into the federal government than South Carolina, believe me.

Judges that truly love our constitution ...

That you have kompromat upon so they don’t follow the constitution.

We don’t have to give money to sanctuary cities and states ...

Reverse it.

USA should be a sanctuary for law abiding American citizens, end catch and release permanently. 

Adderall really kicking in now. Screaming. Fcking crazy.

Democrats want open borders, they don’t care about crime, we are building the wall faster than ever, we will soon be building the wall at one mile a day …

Ha ha! There is no wall, they’re building the no wall at 10o miles a day, like Nicole is paying ten dollars a word!

We should impeach Obama for lying about “you can keep your doctor.”

I guaran-fcking-tee that Obama would agree to be impeached in exchange for impeaching you, too – for your lies.

Finally getting VA choice passed.

That’s a good thing, and Democrats worked with him.

The drugs prescribed, best in the world.

Believe me.

Combatting opioid epidemic,

Good, now get around to the Adderall, leave the valium … please.

Breaking all records …

Who knows what he’s talking about?

Republicans believe every child is a sacred gift of god …

Except the ones you jailed, mother fffffff…..!!!!

GOP is the home of the late, great Abraham Lincoln, cheer!!

It was a southerner that made Lincoln “late,” but apparently no one remembers that, except me.

I passed criminal justice reform ...

Now he “passes” laws? I am sure he dreams that is true. No one is cheering criminal justice reform, btw.

We needed four senators maybe five, it was very difficult, very difficult.

HE IS CLEARLY TALKING ABOUT the fact he needed 4-5 REPUBLICANS and was having a “difficult time”!!

Reverend Al Sharpton will admit he has great respect for your president, but can’t say it on television.

Third person. He is getting crazier by the minute,

I need more publicity

Says the “two rally a week” man.

I was a little embarrassed in front of our great first lady ..

She walked in on him naked. Lemme hear you screammmmm!!!

We created the space force!! We have a new branch!! Everyone thought I was joking, it was like the comic strips, it’s all about space …

I am sure he believes they have X-Wing fighters and Death Stars. No one can see them because they’re stealth, which means invisible, like his wall.

I never thought the swamp was this deep, we got dirty cops, we got a lot of dirty people … I never knew …

Me, neither.

Defend the 2nd Amendment.

Biggest roar of the night. They’d trade Trump in a second if they had to chose one or the other.

Always respect our great American flag …

Especially when your state is firing canons at it.

We’re taking back our country, returning power to you, with your help, your emotion and drive … winning winning winning …

He’s talking to 45% of the nation.

He’s slurring the shit out of words right now, but I bet his mouth is dry, talking too many damn words, I know bc I’m typing them.

South Carolina is tired of winning … they won’t want to win anymore .. that’s what I hear, they don’t want to win anymore, we’re going to keep it that way …

One nation under god, the best is yet to come …

Does that mean the speech is over? Because I would agree the best is year to come.

We will Make America Great Again.

Thank you!!

No, thank YOU, because I thought you would never shut-up. Anyway, to the three people that read this far, lemme hear you screammmm!!!

****

Peace, y’all

Jason

[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom