close

GOP Hypocrisy

WTF: Mike Huckabee Says ‘Trump Could Suck the Virus Out of People’s Lungs’

By

Something is wrong with these people. I totally realize that something has always been wrong with Mike Huckabee. After all, in the modern “begats” he will have Sarah under his name and that’s plenty wrong right there. Now he is also going to be remembered as someone who dreamed about Trump sucking things  … or something like that.

See if you can make sense of this:

“He could personally suck the virus out of every one of the 60,000 people in the world,” Huckabee said, “suck it out of their lungs, swim to the bottom of the ocean and spit it out, and he would be accused of pollution for messing up the ocean.”

Wait, what?

Oh, I see, I see now. What Mike is trying to say is: “Trump could personally walk down to Atlanta, barge through the doors of the CDC and use the tubes and spinners to crank out a cure in 90 minutes, then go to a rally, and the Democrats would accuse him of taking too long.”

Except Mike simply chose to use the single most disgusting analogy of which one could conceive. Actually, I couldn’t of conceived it, so that’s another thing right there.

I do want to encourage Mike to keep talking about Trump sucking things and no one giving him enough credit, only accuse him of polluting things, because there is a bit of truth to that.

Actually, I think it is worth trying. I would like to see if it works, and I so promise Mike that I will not complain about pollution if it does work. Indeed, I don’t even need Trump to suck the virus out of 60,000 people, nope. I just need one.

Let’s see what happens.

Mike? This is why we teach science in school. I am sorry that Arkansas banned science … actually, that’s not fair at all to Arkansas, there are plenty there that fully believe in science. I am sorry that your church bans science, or perhaps you would know.

Speaking of which, doesn’t your church ban sucking … never mind, let’s try it just this once. Call him. We will give him one environmental permit. Just one.

****

Peace, y’all

Jason

[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

Comments

Comments are currently closed.

Recent Stories

Trending Stories