The revelations from The Art of Her Deal are going to be a double-edged sword for some time to come. Mary Jordan’s deeply researched book on Melania Trump has already proven that Donald Trump is just as awful a person as we imagined and that Melania is also a terrible, terrible person. There are going to be delicious details that make him look more awful and there will be portions that simply one to make one puke.

Donald Trump would likely be happy hearing about this revelation, even though it makes him look like that much bigger an asshole in total. He’ll take pride in the little bit that sounds good to him. If he’s sentient enough to even understand such details right now, given his inability to put a thought together.

Yep. Here we go:

Melania Trump defended the size of Donald Trump’s manhood to teasing friends, insisting that he is a ‘real man’, according to a new book obtained by DailyMail.com. The future First Lady admonished close friends when they joked Trump must have a small penis because he has small hands, and cut in to retort: ‘Don’t say this – he’s a real man.’

First of all, just because Melania “assured” them that he’s “sufficient” regardless of his tiny hands, the assurances came out only after there was talk about it, and she could just as easily have said it to cover that she most definitely married for money … because … well, whatever. She’s capable of lying about anything and if she’s hearing that “poor Donald is quite uninspiring,” she might well have just mumbled it under her breath to save some sort of pride in … never mind.

And she would want to save some “pride” in something since it all came out about the same time that his affairs with his porn star and playmate came out. Apparently Melania was actually furious, which means she’s either the dumbest person in New York or lying:

And the mother-of-one found allegations of Trump’s infidelity with former porn star Stormy Daniels and ex-Playboy model Karen McDougal so hard to deal with during the 2016 election that she once checked into a hotel to ‘get away from her husband’.

Yeah, Donald only spent three decades bragging that he’d tag anything that moved – including quite credible allegations of sexual assault – but he was going to be “true” to Melania? Riiighhhht.

Melania might have acted all furious, and she might have been mad that SHE looks like a fool in the revelations, but there is no conceivable way she was surprised, unless she is – again – the single dumbest person in the city. But the book assures us she’s not dumb, she’s just as shrewd and calculating as Trump.

Yes, that sounds right. Because it then perfectly explains her behavior in all this. It is all a TV show and she definitely wants to be the heroine because they always get paid better than the extras.

Melania? You deserve a whole lot of this, and we’re not normally cynical mean people. Just honest.

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom