This. Is. Unbelievable. Buckle the seatbelts, it is impossible to report on this without some serious fury pounding through the lines.

As most know, ex-Melania BFF Stephanie Winston-Wolkoff has a book coming out in four days, “Melania and Me” detailing their friendship and falling out. The “falling-out” occurred soon after Melania became First Lady, or at the point in time when most people elevated to that position will do anything to hold on to their “real friends,” the people that knew them before the presidency. Melania seems to have reversed the principle.

We know from a Vanity Fair article that Melania wouldn’t move to the White House initially because she couldn’t resist the opportunity to use her conspicuous absence to renegotiate her contract with Trump, the pre-nuptial one that people believe will be litigated sooner or later. But apparently there was another reason for putting off the move – they are not mutually exclusive – Melania thought the White House residence was “a dump” and insisted upon a wholesale renovation before moving in. From the British media The Sun:

“Melania just flat out refused to move to Washington DC until it had been completely redesigned and revamped,” a book insider said. “Stephanie talks about how she took one look at her bedroom and bathroom and demanded a new shower and toilet. “She was not prepared to use the same bathroom as the Obamas or anyone else for that matter – it wouldn’t matter if it was the Queen of England. 

Ummm, we’re a little dubious regarding that summation. Though we cannot read Melania’s mind, and thus we’re forced into a bit of speculation and an informed guess, there seems to be something … well, “old-school drinking fountain-like” in her demand to change the Obama bathroom. Is this person “really sure” that it wouldn’t matter if it was the Queen of England? Or is it more, “It wouldn’t matter if it was Oprah?”

We are not making an accusation, we are making an observation that this seems odd and we also know a bit of Melania’s past, *Cough, Birther, *Cough.

Want to think even less of Melania?

“Melania is the wife of the president and doesn’t expect she should have to make do with second hand or previously used facilities. “In fact she seemed to be much more concerned about the decor than she did about allegations of her husband’s alleged infidelity, according to Stephanie.

Well, that sounds like Mel! We might point out – again as nothing more than an observation – that her distaste for the bathroom might be more understandable given that she would anticipate touching the bathroom while unclothed, whereas perhaps that’s not an issue with the well-used, high milage, Donald. And if one wants to be really brutal, the facilities Trump used with Stormy were … porcelain white.

We are so sorry, we might be right up against a line there. But …

Melania ended up staying put in her gold-encrusted quarters in the Trump Tower penthouse in New York while the bathroom was redone and other improvements were made to Michelle Obama’s old living space. 

Excuse you? That was not “Michelle Obama’s old living space.” That is the people’s living space, also used by Laura Bush, Nancy Reagan, Jackie Kennedy, and a lot of other women with far more class than “I’ll let you photograph anything for money” Mel. And “gold-encrusted?” You wanna talk about a dump! Who wants to take a … who wants to use facilities crusted (sorry) with gold that could send a dozen kids to college, all so that one’s ass only touches … she never acted very picky about what touched her ass before!

If one wants to be really brutal here (and apparently we do) having seen pictures of the “gold-encrusted penthouse,” most of us would have to renovate that dump before we would dare set foot in it, lest it guarantee us a particularly humid place in hell for thinking that any one person “deserves” such tacky and self-important surroundings plated in gold. Sweet baby Jesus even the crown jewels are kept in a safe and worn outside the clothing for special occasions!

Just who does Melania think she is! Other than marrying Donald and staying with Donald through at least two affairs that we know of, one taped confession preparing to grab a woman by the parts Melania wants touching gold, and nearly two dozen credible allegations of assault, all done before she worked her angle to get some more money out of that prenup, this woman has done nothing! Whatever it is she “does” she’s sure let us know she doesn’t do it as an amateur. Yet she feels entitled to sneer at the White House and demand that they fix it up to her standards?

Please to be fcking off now, Mel.

But again, as we speculate, we suspect that Mel’s “standards” have nothing to do with the actual facilities or how they looked, and far more to do with “those people” who camped there in government housing. It would be entirely consistent with what we know about Mel. Spoiled, f’ing brat.

What a ….

The end.

*****

Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom