Politics - News Analysis

Trump Demands Joe Biden Take a Drug Test Before Debate, ‘Only Drugs Could Have Caused This!’

Donald Trump was up with the chickens today, thumbing away on his phone, with one thing weighing heavily upon his mind. That “thing” – the debate on Tuesday – for which he’s done exactly nothing in preparation.

Tuesday’s debate is the single biggest date on the calendar this year regarding our political future other than November 3rd, and Trump knows. it. Normally debates don’t move the needle all that much. Debates will factor hugely this time, especially the first one, because Trump’s supporters are forever hearing about Joe Biden’s senility. If Biden walks onto the stage and appears sharper than Trump, Biden wins. What is said during the debate will matter less than how it is said. Trump and his team have committed two of the biggest political sins in existence, they’ve done nothing to prepare and they couldn’t possibly have lowered expectations further for Joe Biden.

Having committed felonious stupidity, now Trump’s feeling a little nervous. He isn’t nervous enough to spend some time actually studying, no – don’t be silly. He may cram a couple of hours Tuesday morning, like the college kid attempting to learn a semester’s worth of organic chemistry in one night. But he’s damn sure nervous enough that he’s gonna hedge on that “Joe’s Demented!” schtick he’s been playing for months. (We should add, in July, the U.S. intelligence communities reported that Russia was planning on going after Biden’s cognitive health, that report was kept from Congress and only released when found by the press. You can make of that chicken/egg problem what you will).

So Trump has to now figure out what to do if Biden takes Trump to school! Well, everything with Trump is projection, soooooo:

Call him on it, Joe! Right fcking now! In fact, demand that it be a hair sample!! Hair samples can track use back three months minimum. We know that Joe doesn’t like to get in the mud with the pig but he can say: “Since I have released all my medical and tax records, and since this appears to be the closest thing we’ll get to revelations regarding Trump’s health, I demand a hair sample test regarding all drug use. Obviously, anything with a legitimate prescription will be fine, but the implications of which should be discussed.”

Hell, if I were Joe, I might also say, “And I demand a psychiatrist, neurologist, and geriatric specialist team to attend the debate and immediately write an assessment on the relative health of both individuals … I further demand that three tax attorneys attend and write an assessment as to who has been more open and honest about their tax returns … I would also like three CIA analysts to rig both of us up to lie detectors … ”

Joe, take him up on the offer!! He won’t go through with it. There is no way that Trump is willing to take any test, the truth kills Trump – always, and this would at least add some truth. Trump won’t do it and that’s the truth.

Some reactions:

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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