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Americans Howling With Laughter as Trump Humiliates Himself by Dancing to YMCA as His New Rally Schtick

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We have all read about the dangers of COVID. It is a new virus, yes – it attacks the respiratory system first, and hardest. But it is also reported to hit the central nervous system, causing headaches, severe depression, fatigue, and apparently, it blocks those pathways that go from the central part of the brain that says “If you dance like a stripper, only much fatter, you will look like the world’s biggest asshole, and you will not be elected president.”

Sometimes, when I was in the mall with my daughter and she was particularly whiney or needy and wanting to pull attitude, I needed her to quit, I would threaten to start dancing – and then start actually dancing. There is nothing, and we mean nothing more mortifying to a tween whose parent is dancing in the middle of the store. That is because it is sort of embarrassing, one just doesn’t care when in that position. Your child will instantly behave.

But you are not running for president.

Now, if you are campaigning for president of the United States and you start dancing AGAIN, after you’d been warned already – you’ve been caught dancing ONCE this week already, and all of a sudden you’re doing it again? That means that AFTER one of your aides pulled you aside as said, “Dude, SIR, what the fck! Do you actually WANT to lose? Because if you do, I will show you how to do it quicker by saving more money. But if you want to win, do not EVER, EVER, EVER, start dancing again with that 74 year old denture overbite or I might just hang myself right in front of you.”

You KNOW he went through that talk. And yet did he dance? Come on. He made the LAST dance look like Sean Spicer on Dancing with the Stars, he went full Beyonce this time and we – as a nation – must now ask the world to forgive us, and they get $10,000 to each citizen of the world, for simply promising to never play the video ever again.

We fking told you it was bad!!

How many drugs do you have to be on to do that? Uppers, definitely, to have the energy, so gotta have some kind of speed. Gotta have just the benzo to knock out judgment, so maybe some Valium, some Xanax, right? And then there’s gotta be something special, some love, some party, something like some vicodin, or maybe even ketamine, something that just makes ya’ love the world. ALL OF THIS IS SPECULATION.

America had some thoughts:

A man can tell how a man is in bed. When you’re a fcking psycho you are a fcking psycho no matter where you happen to be.

And this is how we should end it.

About the 220,000 American died today of COVID, all a small price to pay to keep the economy going to maybe get this guy reelected.

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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