Jenna Ellis has been an absolute gift from the heavens to writers and readers everywhere. Barely a day goes by that she doesn’t say something so beautifully stupid that we’d have to quote it and mock it, even if it was said by Nicole Wallace. (That might be stretching it a bit.)
Anyway, we need not worry because they’re all said by Jenna Ellis, “sorta” an attorney for Trump. We say “sorta” because she told us yesterday that she’s not “officially” on the legal team, which we take to mean they haven’t gotten around to paying her yet and if she keeps saying stupid things they won’t ever pay her. (Rudy, obviously, exempted from the rule).
Earlier today Jenna believed she had this ass-kicking quote she was going to shove down the libtards faces, or she made up a quote that she determined to be ass-kicking and attribute it to someone dead, and someone who wouldn’t really know what she was talking about when she says “liberals” and “conservatives” because no one really talked that way back then, or at least no one was around to witness it.
Check this out and then we really light a fire below:
For people asking, this quotation has been attributed to Roosevelt, but there isn’t a specific record of him saying this in a speech. I posted it because the ifea itself is true, whether or not he said it! 🙂
— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) November 25, 2020 [1]
If I was an employee or “sorta” an employee for Donald Trump, even I would be awfully careful about tossing around who lies about what and who does or doesn’t get mad. This is especially true when even judges appointed by Trump are throwing cases out like three-day old pizza.
And one more thing, one attributes quotes because they are supposed to reflect “the truth” as said by a respected name. If one just puts Jenna Ellis’s name under one laughs as much as one does at any of her quotes. The other thing and we know this will be hard for the average person to believe, but what lawyers say in court, or even to the general public, as published, better damn well be true or that lawyer is going to have issues. What happens in offices between clients or whatever might be a bit different.
The net went predictably nuts:
Ah yes, this evokes the immortal words of Margaret Thatcher, who once said, “God bless America and Americans, except for Jenna Ellis my word what a colossal tool.” https://t.co/BAnSAdbZaw [2]
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) November 25, 2020 [3]
That rare combination of utter dishonesty and utter stupidity: https://t.co/Rjmvo65PUn [4]
— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) November 25, 2020 [5]
Not that rare in team Trump.
Wait, I thought the point of this quote was that conservatives are about truth and facts, rather than made-up quotes falsely attributed to dead American presidents? https://t.co/pK9KtGRWPJ [6]
— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) November 25, 2020 [7]
This gift keeps on giving. https://t.co/7bhFHEplcp [8]
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) November 25, 2020 [9]
Jenna, try this — “I messed up. My bad.” I do it all the time. Everyone understands someone making an honest mistake. Everyone hates an idiot doubling down. Just own it. As Bruce Springsteen famously sang, “Oops, I did it again!” https://t.co/Cy4aiz9ZTl [10]
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 25, 2020 [11]
Unless she intentionally did it, and while yes, people say that all the time, people on team Trump don’t.
I heard a quote from our founding fathers today – “-Jenna Ellis is a moron and a horrible lawyer” https://t.co/Dn38s6bLTq [12]
— Karolyn S (@KarolynS15) November 25, 2020 [13]
You’re getting the idea.
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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak