Politics - News Analysis

Kayleigh Issues Tone Deaf Pious Personal Statement to Assure Us She Remains a Faithful Christian

Kayleigh McEnany first hit our radar as the most shameless upwardly-striving pretty conservative blonde we’d seen in weeks and will go out of the administration as the most shameless place-preserving striver we’re ever seen. She has a brand to protect against all odds. No press secretary has ever faced a more limited career future.

Kayleigh will never work for Goldman Sachs, UBS, RBC, Exxon, etc. Nor will she work for the RNC or even CPAC. She will never work for Fox. It is possible that she might work for OAN or Newsmax but by then they won’t be able to match her White House salary. She might be able to work for Trump and the Trump campaign but Kayleigh has to know that Trump is facing bankruptcy faster and harder than anyone in history. The PGA pulled their huge golf tournament out of a Trump property, no one’s going to tough a Trump property until he sells them. Most are in debt so he’s going to have to pay to sell them.

Trump’s only source of money from now until he starts paying massive legal fees will be attempting to raise political PAC money which will be harder to do if he’s impeached and convicted post-presidency in a manner that precludes him from ever holding office again.

Kayleigh’s Gucci blazer will forever be emblazoned with a Scarlet “T” and her only prospects might be with the Christian Broadcast Network or one of the Right-wing mega-churches. That’s about it. So, of course, K-Mac finds herself furiously treading water, trying to remain viable for an entity that fleeces those fundamentalist Christians who enjoy being fleeced.

And here she is:

Kayleigh? Did you see the riots your biggest supporters threw? Did you see the sickening video of them killing Officer Sicknick? Was that God’s truth? Or was God crying for those poor, good, outmanned police officers attacked by the Trump mob? How can you believe in faithfulness when you remain faithful to darkness?

Kayleigh, let us help you. You never saw. You’ve been blinded by ambition since college. Rather than believe in what you don’t see or understand, perhaps it’s time to open your eyes. If you simply opened your eyes, you might end up crying about the devastation around you, some of it owing to your blind faith.

Oh, and if you want God’s help, it would seem prudent to take Jesus’s advice and pray alone, at night, with a few tears, when you’re scared and maybe not on Twitter. God isn’t blind, Kayleigh.

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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