Hang on, this might get ugly.
We regularly called out Melania Trump because… she was Melania Trump and not just a little Melania, she was really Melania. We often noted that she was a spoiled brat because she just kept right being really Melania. We will make FOX News a deal, the moment that Jill Biden goes to a detention center for kids, wearing a jacket that says she doesn’t care, we will hammer Jill until the end of the term.
But until then, Melania remains Melania, and Jill remains Jill, and anyone who doesn’t wear a $51,000 jacket in Italy remains a normal and decent person, at least that’s the first presumption. Some of us would be humiliated wearing a full scholarship to an IVY league school just to stave off a chill.
But FOX insists that all this media coverage saying “Jill is a normal relatable person as opposed to Melania,” is “put on” to manipulate the Bidens’ image. This, of course, is insane. Jill has been this way since Joe was a senator and anyone that knew of the couple already loved them. There is a reason that Lindsey Graham had tears in his eyes talking about Joe being such a good man. In part, it was because he married such a good woman.
But FOX is gonna FOX [1]:
There is nothing “laissez-faire” in “Dr.” Biden’s public image. The tweet itself is carefully curated, down to the selection of a black-owned bakery.
This is the way the Bidens and the Obamas use social media: to sell themselves as loving and “relatable” people. It’s informal poses. It’s campaign work. Alemany’s article was just more of the sales job.
When you are the president of the United States, your team is allowed to put out tweets reflecting what you’d do anyway. Is the black-owned bakery pretty good? Because we suspect it is, and if it is, this is an admission that one needs to go to a white bakery to be relatable and that only white people read their articles.
Oh, and by the way, STFU.
Because Trump’s people went just as far in manipulating his coverage. It is not our fault that the goal was to ensure that Trump never once wanted to look “relatable.” That would get a person fired. He wanted to always look like the billion-dollar man who didn’t give a duck about the fact that you made ten dollars an hour. Ten dollar an hour MAGAs loved it.
Alemany turned to her Post colleague Mary Jordan, who authored a negative book on Melania called “The Art of Her Deal”: “She’d be unlikely to ever be caught dead in a scrunchie — ‘unless it was Chanel,'” Jordan joked.
Jordan also crowed that “Melania Trump was the most put together person and Jill comes across as a relatable mom, teacher, wife and woman — she’s relatable in a way that Melania never was.”
Which part of this is untrue? Melania would not be caught dead in a scrunchie or a mask unless both were over $1,000 and only if the picture had Melania in sexy pajamas for a nighttime shoot.
Who put Melania together? Because we were told it was Melania? Which White House staffer said to Melania of a tree planting: “Here is the deal, we want you out there wearing Prada on the grass in five-inch stilettos because the confederate flag waving MAGA-men just eat that up.” (Ironic, because that’s also true). Which one is not true in that Jill is a “relatable, mom, teacher, wife, and woman?” Not relatable? Jill was all those things long before becoming First Lady.
We would mention Melania’s professional background but we’re lucky in that we haven’t already been sued, given our coverage.
Now, for those of you who believe we should just move along and not cover Melania, we will, right up until the time that the public stops eating up articles like this. We kid, sort of.
Here is another thing, all of these articles on FOX do nothing for them but send out a flashing sign of “doth protest a laughable much.” If Melania is so “relatable,” in their opinion, why not write an article saying that it’s great to keep having great First Ladies? Maybe then they’d look less bitc… less catty, less whiny, less entitled, and less “Melania.”
Be best, jackasses.
You, too, Melania. Be the best Melania you can be. We know you can and would never want it any other way.
****
Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak