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Fox News’ Tucker Carlson Says That Your Body Belongs to Bill Gates Now

If somebody took you back in a time machine to Medieval Europe in the midst of the Great Plague and you had an 18 wheeler full of antibiotics and more on the way, you would tell people “Get cleaner, use a lot of soap, if it looks like you’ve got it, take two of these.” Remarkably, in a month they understand – you cured the black death, including the suffering of untold children. Oh, and you might have even turned around the greatest depression in recorded history. The Dark Ages? The one that lasted 300 years.

If you gave George Washington a vaccine for smallpox, told him his army will be fine with…

It is actually fcking outrageous when you really think about it. This country’s MAGAmatics steadfastly refused – still do – to do the one most obvious and basic things, stay six feet away from people and wear a mask. Based on their reaction it is akin to surgery before ether. Bite the bullet and watch Tucker while you pass out in pain.

Speaking of which, an executive at FOX needs to walk into Tucker’s office and ask him if he wants to go through the pain of $500 million in lawsuits. Even if he wins it’s a lot of stress and attorney’s fees. Tucker is going to get people killed, literally. There is a “cure,” even better, a preventative little poke. We have it because scientists, smart as three of us, busted their asses for six months and applied lessons learned over one-hundred years and gave the world the cure.

The MAGAs are too smart to take it. They don’t want it. In fact, they’re really pissed off that people say they damn well should take it. Really pissed off. Watch how Tucker frames this, he startes it off as a right to work but slides right into Bill Gates, the guy they associate with vaccines. Here’s Tucker:

“The ability to work was once considered a human right, one of the most basic human rights, but then a lot of things were once considered basic human rights. Remember my body my choice? You’ve heard people chant that for 50 years, as recently as 2019 Kamala Harris endorsed that idea.”

Video of Harris discussing women’s rights. Her body, her choice. Back to Tucker:

“Yeah, it’s your body, it’s your right, oh sorry, COVID, actually it’s Bill Gates’ body now. Bill Gates is not god just a big shareholder in Microsoft, but since COVID Bill Gates has gained extraordinary powers over what you can and cannot do to your own body. Bill Gates would like you to take the coronavirus vaccine.”

Your body, your choice, until you infect our parents, or us. We ask you to take the vaccine, all so you don’t kill someone else while you  spend three weeks in the ICU without “Obamacare,” or any other insurance. That will be a $220,000 medical bill to bankrupt your family and the hospital, nice funeral you got there.

But Bill Gates has fck all to have power over anyone’s body and if this disease couldn’t be breathed into our eyes as we stand waiting to pay for our slurpee, if it was transmitted by a strong handshake or “kissing,” perhaps we’d just no longer care, give them a shot at it, and watch evolution play out. Since it can be given to us, it does seem reasonable that we’d ask them strongly. Ask.

Forget all that. How far down the IQ ladder does the American right want to climb to make 21st Century America the fastest declining nation on the globe? Hang out around 80-85? We can hear it now at the gas station, “You got a cure? Bullshit, I ain’t takin’ your Fauci ouchie with the microchip even if it does protect me. My body, my choice! *Cough* screw that. I can take a cold.”

Right now, it would be genius if Biden and Fauci called a press conference and said, “We admit, this brilliant vaccine came about only because Donald Trump opened the gates (ha), and it’s only fair to call it the “Trump Vaccine,” each bottle will have “TRUMP” labeled on it and you can keep it. We are giving his campaign a cut based on volume. He is basically the only reason we have it. Thank you, “Mr. President.””

Every one of them, and all of us, would take while Trump screamed that he was the hero. A year from now announce it was all bullshit, but enjoy real life again, since it’s gone.

The MAGAs would be furious, right up until football season and they look around at a packed stadium, 105,000 people to watch ‘Bama v. Auburn.’ As it got loud they could say, “this is nice,” and all agree that it actually was the Trump vaccine. Trump just fooled Biden into getting people to take it. MAGA!

Laugh now. Tucker is going to get people needlessly killed. Again. And it’s sad enough that it can ruin your evening if you really think about it.

Oh, and fck you, Tucker.

Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak