Evidently, if one wants to actually be somebody on the MAGA right, conspiracy theories are an entry requirement. To the extent that conspiracy theories are considered necessary, Marjorie Taylor-Greene has had a good start in Congress, though we are certainly not making light of her threats to Nancy Pelosi.
If you thought that lasers fired by Jewish-owned satellites were batshit insane, you don’t know Robert Taylor, Marjorie’s dad, who – according to Politico [1], published a 600-page novel based on the theory that gravity impacts the stock market. Yes. Gravity. Which is not a thing unless it works all the time.
That same year, her father’s second book came out. Paradigm is a 600-plus-page brick of a novel he wrote as a means, he explained, to publish a “revolutionary” “discovery” he called “Gravity Waves”—that the ups and downs of the stock market could be predicted based on “gravitational fluctuations.” He had available for purchase subscriptions to software he dubbed Xyber9.
He said his theory had earned him a nomination in 2000 for a Nobel Prize in economics. (A Nobel spokesman told me in an email “information about nominations is not to be disclosed, publicly or privately, for a period of 50 years.”) Reviews on Amazon were mixed but generally veered toward befuddlement: “a plot entirely dependent on the unbelievably persistent wrong choices of the dumbest smart people you could invent,” “has every type of conspiracy theory included,” “causes one to lose track of what is fiction and what is real.”
Cool, because Marjorie Taylor-Greene causes all of us to lose track of what is fiction and what is real. We often believe we’re looking at a real Congressperson.
The gravity thing can’t be that crazy. Four years ago, scientists did prove that they could measure “gravitational fluctuations” caused by colliding black holes billions of light-years away (and thus billions of years ago, which is good stock-picking) these “gravitational waves” expand and contract the earth about one-quarter of the size of an atom’s nucleus, which means that the market is incredibly attuned to these waves, and trucks driving down the street.
Marjorie didn’t fall far from the orbital platform, as she – too, seems deluded as to who should win Nobel Prizes for various things. Jesus, these people. Oh, and hit the Politico link above if you want to read all about Marjorie’s extra-marital affairs. We don’t.
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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak