Entertainment
Matt Gaetz Admits He Answered Trump’s Calls During Sexy-Time and While Sitting on the Toilet
The scandal surrounding right-wing Congressman Matt Gaetz’s alleged trafficking of a minor is quite obviously not going to go away any time soon and as Second Nexus notes, the public disclosure of the investigation has highlighted his really awful behavior in office.
And indeed the allegations are disgusting. Among them: Gaetz reportedly shared lewd photos of women he’d had intimate relations with to his colleagues on the House floor, and played a game with his fellow reps. in the Florida legislature that assigned points to s*xual conquests.
Gaetz is steadfastly denying that the allegations are true and insists someone is trying to extort him and this has led him to write an op-ed in the right-wing newspaper The Washington Examiner.
“Washington scandal cycles are predictable, and s*x is especially potent in politics,” he writes. “Let me first remind everyone that I am a representative in Congress, not a monk, and certainly not a criminal.”
But he remains defiant and isn’t going away any time soon.
“There are exactly zero credible (or even non-credible) accusers willing to come forward by name and state on the public record that I behaved improperly toward them.”
“No, I am absolutely not resigning.”
From @RepMattGaetz:
"There are exactly zero credible (or even non-credible) accusers willing to come forward by name and state on the public record that I behaved improperly toward them.
No, I am absolutely not resigning."https://t.co/MNFfxyrqqY
— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 5, 2021
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The fracas has caught the attention of many pundits, including, most recently Stephen Colbert, who highlighted one particularly trashy passage from Gaetz’s book as part of a segment on the Congressman’s alleged request for a blanket pardon from ex-President Donald Trump.
In his book, Gaetz, one of Trump’s biggest lapdogs, bragged about taking calls from the former president.
“The president has called me when I was in my car, asleep in the middle of the night while I was asleep on my Longworth office cot, on the throne, on airplanes, in nightclubs, and even in the throes of passion (yes I answered).”
Colbert, clearly revulsed by this, commented: “Thinking of Matt Gaetz having s*x, I’m in the throws of up.”
Which he punctuated by pretending to dry heave. Frankly, I’m almost ready to dry heave here as well. And so are lots of folks on Twitter:
"Passion"
*shudder* https://t.co/hvYJaHM2rv
— chris evans (@chris_notcapn) April 7, 2021
Oh. My. God. I feel like I'm going to throw up. https://t.co/R8gF2nskVS
— AnthonyCaruso (@ACaruso929) April 7, 2021
omg, GROSS https://t.co/vyG9DKj5Wt
— Maise (@maisedawg) April 7, 2021
If I had to read it, YOU have to read it 🤮 https://t.co/yKUDqEymrJ
— 😷 Tiffany 🇺🇸 (@tiffitoo) April 7, 2021
*throws myself over the toilet to passionately puke*
— Nate Honks (@natehankz) April 7, 2021
He was right about "throes"… throes of nausea.
— Eleanor (@edabny62) April 7, 2021
And now that it’s been revealed that Florida tax collector and Gaetz friend Joel Greenberg, a key figure in the investigation will likely cooperate with federal prosecutors, other folks on Twitter are speculating that the Congressman’s future in politics is going to be short.
If Greenberg is signing a cooperation agreement, it means he has information that can help the government prosecute other people. Usually prosecutors don’t cooperate “down” (ie prostitutes) but look to cooperate “up” against bigger fish (ie Gaetz). This is bad for Gaetz.
— Daniel Goldman (@danielsgoldman) April 8, 2021
Matt Gaetz is going down. The only question is how hard.
— Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 (@joncoopertweets) April 8, 2021
Greenberg said likely to strike cooperation deal. That means Gaetz is toast.
— Harry Litman (@harrylitman) April 8, 2021
Gaetz is going down. Asking for a Pre-emptive Pardon? Yah no guilt there…
— TAB64133 (@tab64133) April 9, 2021
Here’s Colbert’s hilarious clip below:
And here’s a funny bit from MSNBC:
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