Abandon all hope and accept that you are now slipping beyond all you’ve known, into an alternative dimension in an alternative universe. Without any laugh track, Greg Gutfeld of FOX News show The Five laid out the most hilarious and disturbing propaganda this year, outside The Big Lie.

As titled, The Five are happy to report that President Biden is actually anti-vaxx, and President Trump – whom we should probably note successfully managed to experience COVID-19 quite intimately. So did nearly everyone in his family, selfless people. Despite being ahead of the science and pro-mask, Trump still managed to get COVID in the world’s most protected building.

According to Greg Gutfield, President Biden is:

“definitely” doing more harm than President Donald Trump by sometimes wearing a mask in situations the CDC says is not necessary, like outdoors while being socially distant.

Greg did not expand upon how President Biden is “doing more harm” than the man who left with a body count of over 400,000. Apparently wearing a mask outdoors while being socially distant, missing on the side of safety, harms the American people in this universe. Moving on:

Donald Trump was following the science,” [on masks] “and in fact was one step ahead of the science in a number of ways including the vaccine rollout.

This is a lie. Donald Trump hosted Christmas parties in the White House entirely mask-free, which would indicate that Trump was actually one step behind the science, and eventually took two steps into the hospital. Perhaps it is helpful to note that Joe Biden did not get COVID.

Most importantly, the Trump White House did not have a plan for the vaccine rollout. The “plan” was the same as every other difficult plan in the Trump White House: “Let the states do it.” Biden’s people asked about and looked for a Trump plan on the afternoon of January 20th as they took over. There was no plan, they started from step one.

“So let’s dispel that lie once and for all that Trump like ran away from masks.”

This universe feels all wrong.

“[Trump] went further than most people when it came to shutting down the economy, his economy, I might add that he was doing pretty great at the time.”

“His” economy, not the country’s economy. Which people did Trump “go further than” when it came to shutting down the economy? Not the Canadians, British, French, Germans, Swedes, South Koreans, Japanese, even the Chinese in Wuhan. So, who?

Regarding President Biden:

“[President Biden] should just roll himself up in bubble wrap and then travel around in a fully encapsulated popemobile because you know what, it’s pretty clear, he doesn’t trust the vaccine. He didn’t trust the vaccine when it came out, he said, ‘Look, you know it’s Trump’s vaccine.’ And now he’s giving this message to people that they shouldn’t get the vaccine.”

W…T…F? President Biden was on television today begging people to get vaccinated. President Biden got the vaccine in public. Dr. Jill Biden held people who fear needles (a deep phobia in some people not to be mocked). President Biden was on live television today asking everyone over the age of sixteen to get vaccinated. President Biden clearly wants people vaccinated and he clearly doesn’t care who claims what regarding its genesis. Right or wrong, the CDC wants even vaccinated people to not pass the virus on to the unvaccinated. Biden wants the country back and follows their directions to the letter.

Gutfeld ominously finished by saying Biden:

“[Gives] a dangerous, dangerous message he’s sending.”

Biden’s message tracks the latest science from the world’s most elite infectious disease lab. The message Biden is sending appears to be helping people as COVID rates plummet in the United States. At the same time, India is descending into a crisis that is so painful that one wants to be there to help… at least those of us who are fully vaccinated.

Phase shift back to our universe and we clear our heads. Greg Gutfeld’s bizarre belch is both intense gas lighting and a propaganda spear worthy of the Soviet Union or Hitler’s Germany. We are not exaggerating. How could Gutfeld twist the truth further? And now we ask ourselves, is the FOX audience so hypnotized by the constant propaganda that they are simply nodding, or are the majority sort of tilting their heads, sensing that perhaps they are being played?

Sadly, it is far more likely they are hypnotized. After all, Gutfeld stores his money in this universe and takes his message to the other. Gutfeld knows what the audience wants to hear. Or he wouldn’t have said it.

Fox keeps dropping casual lines about Biden ACTUALLY being anti-vaxx, this time Jesse Watters says Biden continuing to wear a mask means "he does not trust the science, he thinks that Trump meddled with the labs and he is an anti-vaxxer" pic.twitter.com/3dRqPyxo27

— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) May 3, 2021

As a post-script: Let’s all just notice that of the five, the two women are attractive blondes. It appears to us that the Right-Wing FOX universe is impermeable to real, honest to god working women with brains, busy and important lives, silver, black, or brown hair, and more importantly, something to add to America’s conversation. We bring this up in so many articles because it really is outrageous. We all know real women of every shade, shape, and size, including blonde women, that make immense contributions to people’s lives. Some of us believe that the FOX audience might benefit from hearing from them. We certainly do, it’s a benefit in our universe.

****
Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak