Politics - News Analysis

Ohio MAGA Testifies That the Vaccine Make Forks and Keys Stick to You — Immediately Humiliates Herself

As said in one of the response tweets: “This is exactly why the UFOs don’t land here.” Yes, well, we’re too busy wondering what the hell we’re still doing here to worry about short folks from other planets.

People are dying in India and, as this wave engulfs some of the poorer nations around the globe, they will genuinely wish they had access to vaccines like the wealthy Americans. They will wonder why it is such an issue in the United States. The answer, of course, is because we’re the only country on earth that has a population of about 30% that proudly follows the example of the single dumbest president we’ve ever had. This would be the definition of “First World Problems” if the MAGAs thought that ignoring the vaccine was a problem.

Vaccinations. When smallpox was eradicated from this earth, it was considered the greatest scientific achievement to date. There happen to be any number of early childhood diseases that people don’t know exist because they no longer have to worry about them. There are vaccines that prevent them. So many babies used to die all naturally, using their “strong immune systems to fail” that many cultures wouldn’t name a baby until their first birthday. Only after one year of age did the baby become worth naming. Nowadays, we operate to correct fetal heart defects in the womb.

It doesn’t matter that the new COVID vaccine – another miracle of science – has proven to be all but 100% effective in preventing COVID because these people don’t trust science, data, nor the “deep state,” the same deep state that didn’t develop the vaccine.

Part of this “distrust” involves the belief that the vaccine has a microchip in it, or “magnetic crystals” as the woman below discusses. Again, it doesn’t matter that people already have a microchip in them, and the real microchip is big enough that we can see it, sitting right in one’s hand and some can’t wait to get the new improved version that’s stronger!

This Ohio woman doesn’t understand the properties of liquid water, natural skin oil, hydrogen bonds, or how trees get water from the roots to the top! She has a key that sticks to her neck! It must be the chip and magnetic crystals in the vaccine!

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We have a ton of questions. But they would be private and we doubt this woman could answer them effectively.

Peace, y’all

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.


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