Opinion

Trump Lawyer Says His Plan to Steal the Election Would’ve Worked if Only Pence Listened

He's about as dumb as you'd expect a lawyer for Trump to be.

Remember the bad guy at the end of every episode of Scooby-Doo? It didn’t really matter who it was under the disguise, the exchange always sounded pretty much the same:

Fred: Alright, gang, let’s see who the swamp monster really is.
Gang: MISTER HIGGINS?!?
Higgins: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!

You see, every idiot always thinks they would have succeeded with their dastardly plan, if only it hadn’t been interfered with by someone else. And that, unfortunately, is what not only the January 6 rioters believe, but even Trump and his lawyers believe as well.

John Eastman, an attorney who quickly gained a reputation for not actually knowing how laws work, was the author of the “coup memo,” a blueprint for overturning the 2020 election.

After other lawyers began to call for an ethics investigation into Eastman’s involvement in the plot, Eastman tried to distance himself from the memo. In an interview with right-wing outlet National Review, the lawyer said that the idea that Mike Pence could either accept or reject electoral results was “crazy” and “not viable,” even going on to complain that the memo had been “maliciously misrepresented and distorted by major media outlets.”

But it turns out that was a bit of not-so-clever butt-covering. An undercover reporter posing as a Trump supporter ran into Eastman at an event and cajoled him into admitting that he totally thought it all would have worked if it hadn’t been for that pesky Mike Pence refusing to go along with it.

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Eastman even laid out what we’ve all now observed in the GOP: A dividing line between Trump supporters and Republicans who are sick of the former president.

Let’s see how long it takes before this video makes it into the ethics investigation against Eastman. His defense will probably work out just as well as his plan for January 6, 2021.

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Southwestern Arizona, writing with the conviction of 17 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A wife, three kids, and a grandson round out the story, and in his spare time, Andrew loves to think about how nice it would be to have spare time.

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