Election 2020

Trumpy Former Sheriff David Clarke Says That ‘If We Decide to Pull an Insurrection, You’re Gonna Know It’

Well, THERE's one we hadn't heard yet.

Remember when some people criticized the Affordable Care Act because they thought it was “socialist” medicine? We were surprised to find that even some Democrats were critical of the law as well, but not for the same reasons: They thought it didn’t quite go far enough to be considered beneficial for everyone.

It turns out there’s a similar situation with the January 6th right-wing insurrection at the Capitol, only in reverse. Most of those who criticize it do so because it was at least unpatriotic and at worst violently treasonous. But apparently, there are those who believe that the riots didn’t achieve what they hoped for because they weren’t “serious” enough.

That’s the case with chronically wrong former Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke. He’s the cowboy hat-wearing Trumper famous for overseeing jails where pregnant women were shackled during labor and other inmates lost their lives due to thirst. THIRST.

Over the weekend, Clarke was a speaker at a QAnon convention in Las Vegas called “For God & Country: Patriot Double Down,” which already sounds like a gathering of people who are definitely not sorry about trashing our nation’s capital and threatening the lives of lawmakers.

QAnon, of course, is the cult-like group that believes that Donald Trump was destined to overthrow a satanic group of ped*philes who eat babies and operate a global child s*x trafficking network. We wish that were hyperbole, but every word of that sentence is true.

To even address such a group unironically already proves you’re unfit to be part of the national conversation about anything serious to begin with. But Clarke took it a step further. Calling the siege nothing more than a “frat party,” the former lawman told the crowd:

Ladies and gentlemen, that was not an insurrection. If we decide to pull an insurrection, you’re gonna know it. There’s very little you’re going to be able to do about it.

The only thing I had against what happened at the Capitol on January 6, if you’re going to pull a political movement, you’ve got to have three elements: It has to be serious, it’s got to be well-planned and it’s got to be disciplined.

That’s it, David — tell them they did it wrong because they weren’t militant enough.

The insurrection was intended to interrupt the certification of Joe Biden’s electoral victory just a few weeks prior. So far, numerous attendees have been arrested and some already prosecuted in the ill-fated overthrow attempt that most believe was encouraged (if not masterminded) by Trump himself.

With prominent figures continuing to encourage that behavior, even telling would-be rioters how to do it more effectively, there’s little doubt we’ll see more attacks just like we saw before Biden was sworn in.

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Southwestern Arizona, writing with the conviction of 17 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A wife, three kids, and a grandson round out the story, and in his spare time, Andrew loves to think about how nice it would be to have spare time.

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