Politics - News Analysis

Lara Trump Says Rising Turkey Prices Prove Liberals Want to Get Rid of Thanksgiving

Lara Trump married Eric, okay? This means she is either really smart and got an “A” in Econ in college, or she’s as dumb as him. We have known her long enough to rule out the smart part.

We understand that – as a Fox contributor, as she is – she is expected to pound on liberals all day every day. But ideally, Fox would prefer that she does it in a way that even the Fox audience doesn’t realize that she’s just making mouth noises.

During a Fox discussion in which they were complaining that everything cost more these days (attributed to the Build Back Better transformation, which isn’t implemented yet, but really due to decreased world supply due to COVID), Trump said:

“You heard Jen Psaki there say, well, it’s the turkey about a dollar more for 20 pounds. It’s a lot more than that. But it’s everything, Pete. Everything costs more now. So it’s not just the turkey.”

Okay, that should have ended it, but nope:

They have told us from the beginning that they want to fundamentally transform America. Well, how do you that? You have to change America from the inside-out. You have to take away our traditions. So it might seem a little funny and a little ridiculous. ‘Oh, don’t have a turkey, then people won’t come over.’ Last year, remember, they didn’t want us to get together, so I guess we’re lucky they’re letting us have Thanksgiving this year. At really, the core of this, they want to divide Americans up. They don’t want us to have any common ground. They don’t want us to have any shared traditions like Thanksgiving. A lot of places last month actually did away with Halloween because they wanted to be inclusive of the people that didn’t celebrate Halloween.

Obviously, last year there was a pandemic going around in which someone almost lost their father-in-law (Damn! Missed opportunity, right Lara?) just a month earlier, and that might have impacted the whole “get together thing.”

Perhaps a family with three kids might use that extra $750 to $900 per month to help pay for that more expensive turkey? Lara forgot to mention that popular program.

And Halloween? Keep it… for everyone under eight. After that, it gets downright creepy and something seems very warped about a country that finds it fun to put out dead bodies in their yard and all kinds of other weird shit.

But mostly, Lara, just shut-up. When we say we want to get rid of traditions, we mean traditions like white men shooting black men and not worrying about convictions. We mean traditions like paying people poverty wages. We mean traditions like yelling “Let’s go Brandon at… wait, that wasn’t even a tradition! 

Lara, you are paid to say things that make liberals sound bad, but you can’t even do it in a way that the Fox audience is likely to believe. That’s awful.

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[email protected] and on Substack: Burner/FBI/MIA, Thanksgiving Dilemma, Turkey dinners?

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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