Politics - News Analysis

Proud Boys Leader Whines About ‘Unsafe’ Jail, Asks to Serve Sentence at Home

Cry me a river, tough guy.

The Proud Boys used to be a relatively obscure group. They’re one of those alt-right outlets that recruit young men by appealing to their fears and prejudices with memes and promises of glory. Most of all, they are essentially a “gang” of tough guys who pride themselves on their manliness and willingness to go to the mats with anyone, anytime.

These guys are on video all throughout 2020 throwing bottles and rocks at protesters, setting fires, and roughing people up, then running to hide behind the police. They show up at every opportunity to sow discord and chaos. They were a cornerstone of the 2017 Charlottesville rally that claimed the life of Heather Heyer.

That’s what makes the news that Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio is a big, fat crybaby so deliciously full of schadenfreude for me. I know he doesn’t get the irony or why he’s being laughed at. But then, neither do Trumpers who scream “FAKE NEWS” about virus updates and then post in-depth articles about adrenochrome and the elite cabal of devil-worshiping Democrats who drink it.

Tarrio is currently sitting in a jail cell in Washington, DC after pleading guilty earlier this year to burning a Black Lives Matter banner at a church and bragging about it to all his tough-guy pals.

But according to NBC4 Washington’s Scott MacFarlane, Tarrio is concerned for his safety in the jail and unhappy about the conditions there, because, you know, jails are supposed to be nice and stuff. How are the Proud Boys supposed to recruit new “western chauvinists” who are willing to go to jail for their beliefs if they have to tell them that jail sucks?

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MacFarlane went on to tweet that a hearing for Tarrio’s request had been scheduled for Monday, making it a pretty busy day in DC courts: As of Friday night, there were 41 Capitol riot defendants in pretrial detention in the Washington, DC jail.

We’ll see how much empathy the judge has for poor, unsafe Enrique.

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Southwestern Arizona, writing with the conviction of 17 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A wife, three kids, and a grandson round out the story, and in his spare time, Andrew loves to think about how nice it would be to have spare time.

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