Politics - News Analysis

Madison Cawthorn: ‘Women are Earthen Vessels Made by God’ for One Purpose (Take a Guess What the Purpose Is)

To make babies!

Yes, Madison Cawthorn said that women are here because God created them as earthen vessels. The word “vessel” was a bit awkward so the site decided to look it up:

One: A ship or a large boat.

Well, it is true that every ship that has ever been made has been referred to as a woman, “Come on, girl!” You can hear it in the middle of a storm, “Maiden of the Seas…” You get it. But we don’t think that Cawthorn was referencing boats.

So we go to number two.

Two: a hollow container, especially one used to hold liquid, such as a bowl or cask. 

Oh, shit. And check out the synonyms: “Container,” “Receptacle,” “Repository,” “holder,” “carrier,” and “basin.”

The word receptacle is really troublesome because 90% of the women on earth spend 95% of their time on earth not pregnant, but men do expect women to…

This, is a mess, and Madison Cawthorn insists that God planned women as hollow repositories. Has Madison Cawthorn ever met a woman? Women are not hollow anythings, nor are they receptacles, (Wow, is that word ever bothering us).

And yet, Cawthorn insists that this is exactly why God put women on this earth, to be “earthen vessels,” as opposed to boats, which are water vessels. (We are aware it’s not funny, but we would really like to ask Cawthorn if he agrees):

So women serve no other purpose than to carry babies? And yet most of the time they are not pregnant! So what else are they put on this earth to receive, Madison?

We think we know. “Receptacle.”

Twitter had some thoughts as well:

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

Comments

Comments are currently closed.