Politics - News Analysis

Eric Swalwell Just OWNED Tucker Carlson on Twitter and It’s Pure Gold — All Over M&M Candy

Do. Not. Ever. get in a Twitter war with Eric Swalwell. It almost hurts to see a guy a little younger than me that is that much cooler, smarter, better looking, and funnier. Plus, he’s a Congressman, I write for… the world’s most beautiful woman’s website and am lucky for it. Millions would scratch their eyeballs out to write from home for a living. Where was I?

Ah. Yes. Swalwell and how cool he is. None of this will make sense without some kind of backstory and near as I can tell it’s the same well-worn out story told consistently on all-outrage all-the-time network. The outrage, now, involves the lack of sexiness involved with M&Ms. I guess, technically, it would be the lack of a “gender” now with respect to M&Ms.

Not that any normal person ever noticed, cared, nor ever would notice, M&Ms decided they’d make their logo character androgynous. That is not allowed on Fox – which, given its record with respect to settlements for sexual harassment, you would think they would encourage as much as possible.

Evidently, Tucker was upset about the matter enough to say something about worrying about taking a “female” M&M out for a drink, or something typically Tucker-stupid, and that is precisely what earned him Eric Swalwell’s witty response – on that damned well deserves and answer!

Well, it would be safer than taking a very junior production assistant out and putting her job on the line if she didn’t go home with you, as it seems to have happened in the past with some of Fox’s previous hosts and management.

We do want that answer, Tucker. And, to Swalwell, very cool, as always.

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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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