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See Melania’s Pathetic ‘Commercial’ for the Auction for Her ‘Iconic’ White Hat and NFT That Ends TONIGHT

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Melania is planning on making bank on the hat that she wore to meet French President Emanuel Macron. Admittedly, we are a bit confused as to what makes this whole thing so valuable because we are new to “NFTs.”

NFTs stands for:

A non-fungible token is a non-interchangeable unit of data stored on a blockchain, a form of digital ledger. Types of NFT data units may be associated with digital files such as photos, videos, and audio. Because each token is uniquely identifiable, NFTs differ from blockchain cryptocurrencies, such as Bitcoin.

In other words, you are not buying the hat. You are not buying the actual drawing of the hat. You are buying the code to the drawing of the hat, basically buying the rights to use the drawing of Melania wearing the hat.

Oh, she’s going after the money alright, she’s going to monetize the hell out of her time as FLOTUS, something that she once mocked, per the New York Times article pertaining to the hat, publishing a 2017 quote:

At the time, the suggestion that Mrs. Trump might monetize her time in the White House, and the public eye, was dismissed by her team. “The first lady has no intention of using her position for profit and will not do so,” her lawyer, Charles Harder, said in a statement. “It is not a possibility.”

That statement, seemingly, has limits.

No shit? The auction ends tonight, and Melania Trump wants you to know and bid on the hat. We are thinking about throwing in a $5 bid in the hope of winning, it would be great advertising, and close to what it’s worth.

Talk about milking every single dollar one can get out of the presidency.

Other FLOTUS’s donated truly “iconic” items (the ACTUAL ITEM) that perhaps were memorable enough to be included in the national archives as part of U.S. history, something that would belong to the nation, for free. Not Mel, that’s not her style. But why a drawing of the hat? Because that’s the part she owns, that and her face:

While sitting presidents and former presidents receive several perks that last beyond their time in office, like security and health insurance, wardrobe budgets are not included. Presidents and their families usually do not receive or accept clothing as a “gift” from designers, like celebrities on the red carpet.

So, since Melania paid for the hat, it is hers to sell, except she wants to keep the hat, she’s selling a drawing of the hat, and she wants every fcking penny. Remember, though! A “portion” (she never said how much) goes to fund her charities in the “Be Best” foundation that lives on.

But today is your last day! Grab a plastic bag:

Oh for the love of God, Mel!! This is what you’ve reduced the presidency to? It is autographed. How much does she honestly believe she can get? What would the over/under be if you had to set it? $50,000? Is that fair to bet as an over/under on the value?

If it’s under, you can bet we’ll never hear about it. The net had some thoughts, most were from MAGAs. She is magic:

Barf bag alert below:

The end is nigh, we can tell.

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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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