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Politics - News Analysis

Herschel Walker Blames Raphael Warnock for Archie Bunker Being Off the Air

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It was just four days ago that we published a story on the fact that Herschel Walker wrongly noted that vampires were cool people, were they not? (This was close to his precise wording). We noted that, while tiny nibbles on the neck by your “one who nibbles on necks,” were absolutely cool, such nibbles do not comport with fangs stuck in the neck and all that follows. In essence, we disagreed on what was cool.

No one at the site ever determined whether Walker blamed Warnock for the shortage of cool vampires nowadays. Walker would definitely be the wrong person to complain about any shortage or oversupply (impossible) of the cool neck thing. What we do know is that today, Walker is blaming Warnock for the fact that Archie Bunker is no longer on television. How Warnock is responsible for the passage of time that has taken Archie Bunker off the television? That would be a question best put to Walker, and he isn’t answering.

Well, he is trying to answer, but that isn’t the same as an answer:

“I used to love Archie Bunker. Did you not like Archie Bunker? But because of Senator Warnock, it wouldn’t be on the air because he’s still living in the past.”

Perhaps this man envisions walking into the Senate, going up to the podium, and introducing a bill in which people must stop living in the past and bring Archie Bunker back on television. None of us that run this site really have much familiarity with Archie Bunker other than he was very, very much the bigot (ha ha, so funny, no – not) against all these radical ideas brought home by his liberal hippy daughter and his son-in-law (Rob Reiner).

Come to think of it, perhaps Herschel Walker could get some GOP votes for that legislation. Herschel is the one living in the past, but there are definitely some Republicans that would sing along, “those were the days.” Maybe there were more cool vampires back then.

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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, with Nicole Hickman

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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