close

Politics - News Analysis

Based on Melania Trump’s Hysterical Expressions, It Appears She Isn’t a Huge Fan of Kid Rock

I mean, only Trumpers are at this point, but she's an actual Trump.

By

When it comes to celebrity endorsements and appearances, Republicans have pretty slim pickings. There just aren’t that many Republicans in Hollywood or the music industry.

And there’s almost something weird about that. I mean, if you’re rich and famous, you benefit more from conservative policy anyway. You get to keep more of your money in the form of lower taxes, and you can basically get out of any sticky situation with money.

So when Republicans have a big shindig, they have to make do with what they can get, in terms of entertainment. For the RNC this year, that meant Kid Rock.

Yes, the rapper-turned pop star-turned country singer-turned rapper again who looks like the MyPillow guy and Dr. Phil had a baby. Back when Kid (Robert Ritchie) started out he was 17 years old. Who would’ve thought this guy would wind up being the voice of the “F*CK YOUR FEELINGS” crowd?

Picture from inside of “Grits Sandwiches For Breakfast,” Kid’s first record.

Kid’s come a long way from his roots, especially track one of the album that features the picture above. I wonder what the RNC crowd would feel about his first smash hit “Yo-Da-Lin In The Valley,” an ode to the performance of oral sex on a woman.

Why do I know that? Because I was 12 when Kid Rock hit the scene, and 12-year-old me thought it was hilarious.

Regardless of the sensibilities of the crowd who’s totally cool with Trump and JD Vance, at least one person in attendance was not having a good time. And the pan of the CNN camera to Melania’s face says it with an exclamation mark.

It was already weird enough that Melania repeatedly turned down any and all offers to speak at the convention. That’s a tradition spanning parties and decades. The potential First Lady gets up and says some hokey stuff about her husband’s hopes and dreams and the obstacles he had to overcome in his life. Then they flip their hair, sit down next to their spouse, and smile for the cameras all night.

Instead, Melania entered the auditorium to riotous cheers from the crowd, backed by Beethoven’s 9th Symphony (he’s no Kid Rock, but he’ll do, and also they didn’t have to ask Beethoven’s permission). She sat right down.

And in the end, she couldn’t even manage the sit and smile part of the affair. That would be because Kid Rock was playing.

Watch the former (and possibly future, if we don’t get out the vote) First Lady react to the absolute sh*tshow that is Kid Rock:

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

Comments

Comments are currently closed.

Recent Stories

Trending Stories