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Kyle Rittenhouse Is Now a True MAGA — He’s Selling Disgusting Merchandise to Unsuspecting Fools, and Keeping All the Cash

We knew the day was coming.

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I really have to hand it to one of my favorite tweeters, the editor of MeidasTouch.com, Ron Filipkowski.

Some days, I feel overwhelmed by the ridiculous news I see, and then I stumble across one of Ron’s tweets on X, and he’s distilled yet another bit of idiocy into something funny.

Some days, that’s what keeps us going. We have to laugh so the Idiocracy-level stupid going on at all times on the right doesn’t make us cry — or crazy.

So today, when I stumbled across  a tweet from him showing Kyle Rittenhouse, the acquitted shooter in the killing of two men and wounding of another in Kenosha, Wisconsin during the Jacob Blake protests, pimping a military-style “bundle” from Armored Republic, I got a little chuckle.

Not because it’s funny that there really ARE people out there who think they need to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on not just guns, but BODY ARMOR for some ethereal upcoming battle against the libs.

No, it was how Ron captioned the tweet showing what Kyle was selling — the Rittenhouse Independence Kit — using the code “Liberty” for a discount of 17.76% (see what they did there?).

“I’m pretty sure this dude is never going to get a job,” said Filipkowski.

Ron’s humor helps because that’s not even the depth to which Kyle, the Republicans, and the testosterone-deficient gundamentalist industry has sunk. Kyle’s got two other name-branded kits from the Phoenix-based company: The “Always Ready” kit, and the “Essentials” kit.

They’re all basically the same thing, with tiny feature differences depending on how small your penis is what kind of defense you think you might need.

It’s a flak jacket with body armor inside, and plenty of specialty pockets for clips for your gun. One of the kits even has a pair of the blue latex gloves Kyle was photographed in that night in Kenosha, as he was scrubbing Jacob Blake’s name off spray-painted tributes from protesters.

No matter which one you buy, you can use that code to get the “YOU know what we mean” discount of $17.76.

Anyway, thanks, Ron. You made another day writing about all the crazy stuff in right-wing fever dreams a little bit easier today.

Twitter had some thoughts:

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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