I really have to hand it to one of my favorite tweeters, the editor of MeidasTouch.com, Ron Filipkowski.
Some days, I feel overwhelmed by the ridiculous news I see, and then I stumble across one of Ron’s tweets on X, and he’s distilled yet another bit of idiocy into something funny.
Some days, that’s what keeps us going. We have to laugh so the Idiocracy-level stupid going on at all times on the right doesn’t make us cry — or crazy.
So today, when I stumbled across a tweet from him showing Kyle Rittenhouse, the acquitted shooter in the killing of two men and wounding of another in Kenosha, Wisconsin during the Jacob Blake protests, pimping a military-style “bundle” from Armored Republic, I got a little chuckle.
Not because it’s funny that there really ARE people out there who think they need to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on not just guns, but BODY ARMOR for some ethereal upcoming battle against the libs.
No, it was how Ron captioned the tweet showing what Kyle was selling — the Rittenhouse Independence Kit — using the code “Liberty” for a discount of 17.76% (see what they did there?).
“I’m pretty sure this dude is never going to get a job,” said Filipkowski.
Ron’s humor helps because that’s not even the depth to which Kyle, the Republicans, and the testosterone-deficient gundamentalist industry has sunk. Kyle’s got two other name-branded kits from the Phoenix-based company: The “Always Ready” kit, and the “Essentials” kit.
They’re all basically the same thing, with tiny feature differences depending on how small your penis is what kind of defense you think you might need.
It’s a flak jacket with body armor inside, and plenty of specialty pockets for clips for your gun. One of the kits even has a pair of the blue latex gloves Kyle was photographed in that night in Kenosha, as he was scrubbing Jacob Blake’s name off spray-painted tributes from protesters.
No matter which one you buy, you can use that code to get the “YOU know what we mean” discount of $17.76.
Anyway, thanks, Ron. You made another day writing about all the crazy stuff in right-wing fever dreams a little bit easier today.
I’m pretty sure this dude is never going to get a job. pic.twitter.com/5q9881eACX [1]
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) July 12, 2024 [2]
Twitter had some thoughts:
I don’t know why anyone would want this guy specifically to be the pitchman for their body armor, anytime I see his face or hear his name the first image that comes to mind is him crying.
— josh sanders (@joshsan46211823) July 12, 2024 [3]
He figures why should he work when he can screw people out of their money.
— Diane McKenna20 🌻🌊 (@Mckenna20Diane2) July 12, 2024 [4]
Just one of life's losers. It's pretty bad when the army tells you not to come back after you've failed 3 times.
— Kate (@Lessafetoday08) July 12, 2024 [5]
I’d love to see him figure out what 17.76% of ANYTHING is. Lol.
— jake (@mycosmicrelief) July 12, 2024 [6]
Oh, this boy is gonna get something , and probably sooner than he thinks 🤔 live by the sword etc etc
— Robert Young (@RobertY07765531) July 12, 2024 [7]
I'm pretty sure you're right.
Not even the reps who used him as a poster boy wanted to give him a job!
Who wants to hire a two time killer?!— Nina Ekman (@Nina_Ekman) July 13, 2024 [8]
Under Trump he will become Sectetary of Defense. No doubt.
— Zongo the Zischer (@ZZischer) July 12, 2024 [9]
Does that come with a penis pump and fake mustache?
— shelby (@thetrueshelby) July 12, 2024 [10]
I'm pretty sure this blubberboy dude is never going to get laid.
— Boudica (@JetteAgain) July 12, 2024 [11]
Poser. Fat poser. Fat loser poser.
— Carl Mucha (@cmooch55) July 12, 2024 [12]
Why should he? Like a lot of today's youth, he achieved viral fame through negative behavior, and was able to ride it all the way to the bank, joining the likes of Bhad Barbie, Gypsy Mother Murderer, and the spit on it girl. WHY that's happening is what we need to question.
— Laurel Nevans (@LaurelNevans) July 12, 2024 [13]