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Americans Disgusted by Trump’s Newest and Most Pathetic Grift, ‘The World Is Laughing at Us!’

After the newest "attempt" didn't land quite as well with the media as Trump hoped, he turned back to the old standby.

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Let’s just get this out of the way: There is no basement for how low Donald Trump will go for money. There’s no other explanation for the endless litany of things he’s tried to sell.

At least he has a built-in customer base now with his MAGA voters. It remains to be seen whether they have enough money to make him happy, though.

The latest story is that, while Trump was golfing, a gunman was fired at by the Secret Service. This, of course, has turned into another “assassination attempt” narrative, though many agree that the first such incident a while back may have been partially or completely staged.

In this case, the gunman didn’t so much “try to kill Trump” as he did “get near Trump’s golf course with a gun.” I say that because he had no line of sight at the former president, and never fired a shot anyway. He was arrested without incident.

And once again, we’ve learned after the fact that the suspect, Ryan Routh, voted for Trump in 2016 and was vocally supportive of Trump’s friendly relationship with North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un. Weird how that keeps happening, people who once liked him no longer supporting Trump.

But since that story didn’t take off, Trump showed up on social media to remind you about that time someone DID get off some shots. None of them hit him, of course, but someone did die, so Trump still counts that.

One of the main reasons that people have speculated about the first attempt being a ruse is that Trump immediately got up afterward, in the line of fire if the gunman wasn’t yet taken out (he wasn’t), and fist-pumped — pretty standard fare for Trump — while chanting “FIGHT! FIGHT!”

The moment he did that was captured on film. I’m sure you’ve seen the picture by now. Blood on his face (though curiously not on his clothes), fist in the air, Secret Service “struggling” to subdue the 78-year-old… It made for an iconic photo.

And “they” put it on a shirt.

I’m not sure who “they” is, but “they” apparently put one of those shirts in Trump’s hands so he could pimp them on the internet. He had to hold the shirt, of course, because I don’t reckon they make it in his size, and he wouldn’t be caught dead in a t-shirt.

“So they just came out with this t-shirt,” Trump says, “Which is pretty spectacular, and it’s selling like hotcakes.” I don’t know about you, but hotcakes are not the benchmark for sales anymore, and haven’t been since about 1890. In fact, both IHOP and Denny’s essentially give hotcakes away these days with their all-you-can-stomach eat deals.

Now, this is only my opinion, of course, but has anyone on Team Trump stopped to consider that maybe the reason Trump’s followers are turning on him is because they found out he was nothing more than a salesman?

Part of me wants to say they should have known better.

After all, that’s all Trump has EVER been, is a salesman. He hasn’t even been good at it. Every business venture failed spectacularly: Steaks, vodka, ties, an airline, a few casinos, a university, you name it.

But 8 years ago, he ran for president on a platform of getting things done, and doing it differently than any president before him. He promised his supporters a wall they never got, a ban on Muslims that was overturned by the courts, and to protect them, which he promptly did by letting white nationalists run wild in the streets and ignoring a global pandemic for most of a year.

This particular item for sale, though — it’s especially gross.

This is an image from a solemn day, when a firefighter dove on top of his family to save them from gunfire that, if it really was an actual assassination attempt, was meant for TRUMP. Trump didn’t take a bullet for his country. There’s not a scratch on his ear, where he claimed he was shot.

Someone else took a bullet for Trump that day, and he’s making money off it.

The internet let him know just how despicable they think that is:

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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