It blows my mind that there are still people who refuse to believe that Donald Trump was found liable for sexual assault in a court of law. But then I remember that even Trump doesn’t believe it himself.

But Trump wasn’t just found liable for that. Based on the ruling that he was liable for the assault, Trump was also found guilty of defaming the woman who accused him. If you need a headline refresher course, this is the part where I remind you she was awarded $5 million the first time, and more than $80 million the second time.

Trump thought he could get out of paying either.

To do that, he would have to get the first civil suit overturned. If he could succeed at that on appeal, then the second judgment would be vacated as well, because it was based on the ruling in the first.

That was not a feat that Trump’s legal team was able to accomplish. That seemed to surprise Trump too, despite literally everyone in the world telling him there was no way he could win on appeal.

Speaking to the press after the appeals appearance, Trump went on full blast against his own team for not getting the job done. Even the woman who’s now a campaign advisor, Alina Habba, and attorney John Sauer got read the riot act, and they were standing right there with him.

The weirdest part is, Trump’s argument that he couldn’t get a fair trial was the basis for his appeal. But it was a jury trial. When a jury is seated, both the defendants and the plaintiffs have to agree on jurors.

He and his legal team signed off on everyone who found him guilty. Gee, I wonder if THAT might have some bearing on whether a judge would take him seriously when he says it wasn’t fair.

He didn’t hold back, and as usual, he barely made sense:

“I feel sad I have to come up here and explain it. I have all of this legal talent, but legal talent cannot overcome rigged judges, they can’t overcome a 4% Republican area, and I’m disappointed in my legal talent, I’ll be honest with you. They’re good people, they’re talented people. Today at the trial they didn’t mention the dress. So the Monica Lewinsky-type dress was a big part of the trial, big, big part of the trial. I said, ‘Why didn’t you mention that?’ And I heard there was a dress involved and I wasn’t frightened at all because I did nothing with her. Never touched this woman, saw this woman — I had no idea who she was. ‘But they have a dress, sir.’ I said, ‘So what?’ ‘Well, sir, it’s very serious.’ They used that dress to try and intimidate me, they used that dress with the public, that dress was such a famous dress. It was Monica Lewinsky part two, the dress, and the judge wanted it for trial and it was going to go into trial and then they found out there was nothing on the dress, which I knew and then the judge wouldn’t allow it to be used so they used it as a cudgel, they used it as a hammer over my head.”

Two things: Was that even English? Also, who does he think we’re going to believe that everyone calls him “sir” in private at all times?

Anyway, the score now stands E. Jean Carrol three, Trump zero. Let’s see who Donald blames next.

HAHAHA: Trump just said he’s “disappointed” with his legal team while they are standing right behind him! Just casually throwing them under the bus on live TV. Sorry, Donald. It’s hard to defend a guilty man! pic.twitter.com/2ZZgU2AW59

— Harry Sisson (@harryjsisson) September 6, 2024