Funny

Melania Fights Back Against Horrible Book Sales By Posting a Laughably Bad ‘Private’ Photo She Took for the ‘Collection’s Edition’

Is she serious?

Melania Trump is nothing if not creative. So nothing, I guess. Because her “creativity” leaves a lot to be desired. From blasé $600 gold necklaces to uninspired holiday ornaments to nearly monochrome decorations in the White House, Melania’s no luminary of classical art.

Even if she compares her nude modeling to Michelangelo.

But after the news of her new memoir’s absolutely bargain-basement sales numbers came out, she must have been desperate to get someone to pay attention to it. So she tweeted a preview of what’s available in the “collector’s edition” version of Melania.

I hope you haven’t been holding your breath for something good, because if you have, you’ll turn blue LONG before you ever see it. The pic from the book that she selected to entice new customers was of (drumroll, please)… an airplane.

Okay, not just ANY airplane. It was the twin backup of THE plane, Air Force One. She shot a photo of it through the window of the one she was on with her husband on the way to China.

So the “photograph of the world around” her wasn’t actually of the world at all. You can’t even see the world in the photo, in fact.

But there is something interesting here for nerds like me, even if it is just the fact that she took yet another opportunity to be wrong about something. In the tweet, she calls the Boeing 747 outside her window “the second Air Force One,” which is not a thing that exists.

Both the main plane and the backup are VC-25 models with the current designation SAM [Special Air Mission] 29000. But technically, “Air Force One” is not an airplane at all. It’s a call sign for air traffic control to denote the plane that the President of the United States is flying on. It could be a seaplane on a Minnesota lake, and if Joe Biden was on it right this second, that would be Air Force One.

That means, of course, that there’s no “second” Air Force One, because while it sometimes seems like the president has to be in two places at once, as far as I know, we haven’t developed that technology yet.

It could, of course, have been Air Force Two, if Mike Pence was on the plane she took a picture of.

I’ll give her this: It’s not a bad picture. Especially for one taken through a window. All the pictures I’ve taken through a window turn out blurry when I look back through them. Oh look, honey! A blurry bison! And some blurry trees! I bet those leaves must have been awesome.

But if Mel wants to be fascinating, she should include interesting things about what she’s taking pictures of.

Like, did you know that Air Force One has had more takeoffs than landings? No, it never crashed or anything, and that would kind of still count as a landing anyway. But because AF1 is just a call sign, it happened that a plane that took off with Richard Nixon aboard it after his resignation started out as Air Force One at takeoff, and then Gerald Ford was sworn into office while Nixon was in the air, making it just another plane carrying a douchebag, like Trump Force One.

In any case, this was likely a once-in-a-lifetime photo. Hopefully.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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