2024 Election

Trump Slammed for Going Crazy on the Bronzer at Speaking Event, ‘He Looks Like He Has Shoe Polish All Over His Face!’

It's only been getting worse over time.

Donald Trump is pretty well-known for his fragile ego and need to look good all of the time. He doesn’t of course, but he has to at least think he does. In reality, the world mostly cringes when he brags about his “beautiful body” or his clothes and hair.

The latest appearance from the world’s tallest Oompa-Loompa has people shaking their heads once again.

I don’t know if he thought he was playing to a darker-skinned crowd in Detroit or what, but he’d do well to remember that his rallies are attended by as close to 100% white people as it gets.

But there he was, in all his glory:

It kind of reminds me of the time in 2012 when Mitt Romney was running for president and he had an event sponsored by Univision, the Spanish-language channel. He showed up in what many called “brownface,” trying to get himself a little closer to the color of the folks he was trying to pander to in Miami.

I’m not sure even that compares, though. Maybe Trump wasn’t trying to reach darker-skinned voters at all. Maybe he’s just completely out of his mind and thinks this actually looks good. God knows that wouldn’t be the first or last time Trump was dead wrong about something.

Oh, speaking of dead:

When I say that reactions to Trump’s latest bronzer look were bad, what I mean is, that’s one of the nicest things anyone said. The rest of the commentary was absolutely brutal.

As you can see, the public did not think much of The Donald’s new look. And as if that weren’t bad enough, there were the gajillion commenters who reported that Trump farted throughout the speech.

I’m not sure which is worse, looking like you smell, or smelling like you look.

One X user summed it up nicely, and quite possibly told a little bit of Trump’s future. The face was bad enough but once he began passing gas, the user commented “Trump was ranting about politics, paused to fart loudly, and then resumed his rant!!! He truly reminds me of an elderly man at a HOA board meeting in Florida.”

That sounds about right.

Just look at how dark he is…can you imagine being the poor housekeeper who has to clean his shirts after wearing them? Let’s take out the smell, which is surely ripe. But how would one even scrub all of this bronzer out of a crisp new white shirt?

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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