I had really hoped that I’d never have to type these three words in this order again. Unfortunately, his dad got elected again, so we’re going to see another few years of Eric, The Dumbest Trump™.

Don’t get me wrong — I love making fun of him, and it’s SO easy. It’s just, I’d really hoped I wouldn’t have to anymore. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some time away from this family? And the thing is, without Donald’s election, Eric is the one we could have been absolutely guaranteed not to have to talk about. You know, since he’s The Dumbest Trump™.

Anyway, today’s shining example of stupidity is almost unfair. There are a LOT of people who don’t understand tariffs, so finding out Eric doesn’t understand them isn’t necessarily a surprise. It’s just that he has such a unique way of not understanding things.

Let’s start here: Buckle up for the phrase “We’re gonna tariff you!” He means it as a threat, and in the video I’m about to show you, he really thinks he’s being threatening.

See, some words can serve as nouns or verbs or adjectives equally. Tax — that can be a cost you pay (8.9% sales tax here, noun), a way you collect money (Bernie wants to tax the billionaires, verb), and it can even be a descriptor for when something’s really hard (it’s very taxing to have to come up with these examples, adjective).

The word tariff only works in that first sense. “Tariff” is never a thing you do, it’s only a thing that IS.

they’re really going for this tariffs thing pic.twitter.com/80t8busqRZ

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 26, 2024

You want to allow drugs to come through our southern border? We’re going to tariff you. You want to allow them to come through Canada? We’re gonna tariff you. China, if you’re gonna allow this stuff to get sold in our country largely produced in China, we’re gonna add another ten percent to your tar— We are gonna cost your countries, your economies, we’re gonna cost your businesses billions. Hundreds of billions of dollars. If you think you’re gonna par, uh, tar, you know, uh poison Americans? It’s not gonna happen. You’re not gonna destroy our youth, you’re not gonna destroy our society, you’re not gonna destroy our families. You’re not gonna do it, it’s going to cost you, I’m gonna put an end to it. Laura, when my father said that 20 minutes ago, I literally cheered out loud.

See, here’s the thing. It’s not just that he doesn’t know that it’s a tariff, not to tariff, but he clearly has no idea how tariffs work either way. I mean like, at ALL.

I know we’ve gone over this (and by God, we’ve gone over it for YEARS), but a tariff isn’t a thing you can make another country pay. And yes, that’s how Trump himself has painted tariffs this entire time, so it’s understandable that his kid would be so confused.

But you’d think that by now somebody might have explained it to them, at least so they don’t look like idiots on cable TV. Laura Ingraham was just sitting there stone-faced, blinking, sighing, trying not to say anything. You KNOW she knows how stupid he sounds.

So. Dear The Dumbest Trump™: In case you’re reading this, a tariff is a cost you impose on an American company that imports goods from other countries. Since, you know, you don’t get to make laws that force other countries to do things.

Heck, maybe he meant we were going to sanction those other countries. If you hit up the Council on Foreign Relations as to what sanctions are used for, you get the following:

National governments and international bodies such as the United Nations and European Union (EU) have imposed economic sanctions to coerce, deter, punish, or shame entities that endanger their interests or violate international norms of behavior. Sanctions have been used to advance a range of foreign policy goals, including counterterrorism, counternarcotics, nonproliferation, democracy and human rights promotion, conflict resolution, and cybersecurity.

So maybe that drugs thing with Mexico? I mean, you know he only included Canada in his little rant so he didn’t sound racist. They’d never impose sanctions on Canada for pretty much anything.

But you’re going to have to note that the little blurb there doesn’t say anything about imposing economic sanctions for, um, being a trading partner that makes things cheaper than us. Or that we don’t make here at all. Fun fact: Did you know there’s not a single American television manufacturer?

No, The Dumbest Trump™ was talking about tariffs, he just doesn’t know what they are. As usual.