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Trump Wanders Around the Super Bowl Aimlessly Until Aides Get Him Oriented: ‘Let’s Get You to Bed, Grandpa”

He's a meme come to life.

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Look, I’m not saying there’s no government waste. The big argument from the right lately about everything that Trump and DOGE are doing is this kind of “What’s wrong with finding waste?” type of sentiment. I’m inclined to agree — there is a lot of waste.

But Donald Trump obviously doesn’t care about it. He’s not cutting off cancer research funding because scientists are using it to drink piña coladas on the beach in California. He’s not decimating humanitarian assistance because it means that the military can’t field another tank.

He’s just doing away with stuff he doesn’t like. That’s evidenced by the fact that he was at the Super Bowl yesterday.

I think it’s actually kind of a cool thing for a president to show up at the Super Bowl. If Barack Obama had been at one — maybe even yesterday’s — they’d have put him right in the halftime show (Barack would’ve crushed it in yesterday’s halftime show).

But you can’t pretend that the number one thing you’re concerned with is cutting government waste and then:

  • Spend 16 million dollars on two recruitment ads to run during the game
  • Spend millions of dollars for days of rehearsals and then the actual flyby of military Osprey helicopters before kickoff
  • Spend millions of dollars on security and transportation for the guy with the most security of anyone in the WORLD to wander around shaking players’ hands instead of getting on with his dumb little photo-op and getting back off the field

In my opinion, Chris is wrong there. I don’t think Trump was lost at all, and neither do the legions of Trump supporters in the comments on this tweet. Without fail, every single one of them points out unironically that Trump isn’t lost, he’s purposely walking around and doing his own thing. They talk about it like it’s a GOOD thing.

The MAGA in the comments conveniently leave out what kind of mayhem that causes, of course.

All the times we’ve seen Trump wandering around, we’ve focused on the fact that he seemed disoriented, because he looks like he has no idea what’s going on.

Remember that time he got bored after giving this guy the Medal of Freedom and just left him stranded in his office?

Hell, here’s an entire montage of times he’s looked like an absolute buffoon, wandering the wrong direction, leaving early, and just in general not giving a sh*t what anyone’s doing or where he’s supposed to be:

Now THAT is a waste of taxpayer dollars. A doddering, confused old man, wandering around at every event of any consequence without ever even considering the time and energy that goes into making his self-aggrandizing appearances remotely successful.

Oooh, a football guy! I think that guy voted for me! Somebody get a picture of this!

I wonder how long it will be before DOGE gets to the Air Force One flight logs from January 2017 to January 2021 and sees that a full 21% of the trips it took were to Trump properties to play golf? You think they’ll let that happen this time around, or are they finally going to crack down on the spender-in-chief?

I wonder how much the total will end up having been for Donald Trump’s trip to Super Bowl LIX. The reason he went to the game, rather than just watch it on TV if he was interested, was to have his picture taken. He doesn’t have a favorite team anymore now that Tom Brady’s not playing.

He honestly just wanted to be the first president to go to one.

Well, that, and he wanted to see how much he got cheered, and whether he got as much screen time as Taylor Swift. He managed to tweet about her a few times already on Truth Social today, because his time at work — that we’re paying for — is SO well spent on social media obsessing about a pop star that he hates.

Let me get my wallet, Mr. President. I wouldn’t want you to miss your opportunity to shake hands with another famous person.

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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