Politics

Trump is Rumored to Wear a Girdle and is Obese But Still Thinks He Looks Like Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky

Donald Trump has really bad posture.

The reasons for this are many. The first, Trump NEVER exercises.

Trump once stated that he believes that the human body “is like a battery – exercise just runs down the limited energy” (Yes- Trump is that stupid.) But, of course, the real reason Trump is in such flabby physical condition is because he is too fat and lazy to exercise.

Another reason for the bad posture is that Trump usually wears a girdle.

This explains the inconsistency between his flabby face and neck and tighter waistline. The time Trump’s poochy belly was super obvious was when he met the Queen and had to wear that ill-fitting white tie tuxedo – he looked eight months pregnant.

Trump’s girdle explains why he sits on every chair like it is a toilet. He has to keep his knees spread wide (like he is trying to poop) or else he will compress his girdled gut up into his lungs, turn blue and pass out.

So on days where Trump isn’t wearing his girdle, his posture will look particularly poor. Girdles give a false sense of strength around the midsection, and it’s doubtful Trump works on his abs.

Trump, who is absurdly vain, has been rumored to be wearing a girdle for decades.

Photos show he was never fit-looking, certainly not since his late thirties.

Trump had scalp-reduction surgery in 1989 to shrink a bald spot; his “hair” notoriously undergoes myriad strange mutations; and he wears heavy make-up of ever-changing hues.

Just look at how Trump stands:

Weird! It looks like Trump is leaning forward and about to tip. Like the Leaning Tower of Trump.

And as usual, people on Twitter were quick to ask why Trump is such a weirdo:

This interesting thread says Trump’s posture is because he has lifts in his shoes to make him taller:

But this is all hogwash to Trump, who just tweeted this morning this photoshopped photo of him as Rocky:

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