Politics

Obese Trump is Rumored to Wear a Girdle … But He Oddly Still Believes He’s Incredibly Handsome

Donald Trump has really bad posture.

The reasons for this are many. The first, Trump NEVER exercises.

Trump once stated that he believes that the human body “is like a battery – exercise just runs down the limited energy” (Yes- Trump is that stupid.) But, of course, the real reason Trump is in such flabby physical condition is because he is too fat and lazy to exercise.

Another reason for the bad posture is that Trump usually wears a girdle.

This explains the inconsistency between his flabby face and neck and tighter waistline. The time Trump’s poochy belly was super obvious was when he met the Queen and had to wear that ill-fitting white tie tuxedo – he looked eight months pregnant.

Trump’s girdle explains why he sits on every chair like it is a toilet. He has to keep his knees spread wide (like he is trying to poop) or else he will compress his girdled gut up into his lungs, turn blue and pass out.

So on days where Trump isn’t wearing his girdle, his posture will look particularly poor. Girdles give a false sense of strength around the midsection, and it’s doubtful Trump works on his abs.

Trump, who is absurdly vain, has been rumored to be wearing a girdle for decades.

Photos show he was never fit-looking, certainly not since his late thirties.

Trump had scalp-reduction surgery in 1989 to shrink a bald spot; his “hair” notoriously undergoes myriad strange mutations; and he wears heavy make-up of ever-changing hues.

Just look at how Trump stands:

Weird! It looks like Trump is leaning forward and about to tip. Like the Leaning Tower of Trump.

This interesting thread says Trump’s posture is because he has lifts in his shoes to make him taller:

But this is all hogwash to Trump, who tweeted this photoshopped photo of himself as Rocky:

And in this God-awful photo Trump suggests his hair looks good:

Then there was this tweet where Trump boasted of getting exercise and I think Trump thinks he looks good in this photo?

Trump has on many occasions called himself “extraordinarily handsome”.

Remember this, less than a year ago, Trump was calling himself “so great looking.”

And as a heterosexual woman I would like to address this a bit.

Is Donald Trump handsome?

No.

His features are too “soft”, his chin is weak, and whatever is going on with his eyebrows has never been addressed. He was an average looking guy in his best days, who wouldn’t have had too many problems attracting average looking to moderately attractive women in his youth.

As young man he was not bad looking, however it was not long before he developed the entitled, rich guy smirk. The one if he had not been rich, would have had women rebuffing his advances.

By his thirties his lifestyle was beginning to catch up with him and he began to look dissipated: jowly and bloated. And it’s all been downhill from there.

Handsome?

Nope.

Not Donald Trump.

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