Politics - News Analysis

Fox News Says the Economy Must Open Up So Women Can Get Their Roots Done

We felt the change just as soon as the week began, by Sunday around midnight, Trump started arguing that the cure was worse than the disease. Since then we’ve seen Glenn Beck say he’d rather die than shelter up (Beck doesn’t care about the other lives he takes, either, never has), Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick called on seniors do just die already so rich people can get back to business, Mississippi’s governor said “we’re not China” and kept the economy largely open – despite most Mississippians being poorer than the Chinese, you get my drift. Republicans want this damned economy going because they are losing money, and their god-candidate is losing his mind and political fortune.

But the Republicans and their mouthpieces at Fox News need to convince people to go along with “Get Dead, Stimulate Growth” message, and we have the women at Fox News trying interesting strategies to encourage viewers to get their pampered asses out of the house and to the salon, fast:

Now that is special.

It would be far more fun to mock these people if we didn’t know that their priorities are directed from the White House, and reflect the current message that Trumps wants out there. Trump wants people begging him to release constraints on the economy, even though it isn’t his job to quarantine or issue shelter in place orders. Those guidelines come from the CDC, which local officials then use to make decisions.

But these same local officials, especially in the deep south – as we have seen – sure seem to be more than ready to end this weenie stuff about quarantining. They want to go about thinning the herd, getting rid of the weak and sick – so the almighty economy survives. That is downright medieval, which seems appropriate.

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Peace, y’all

Jason

[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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