Politics - News Analysis

Jerry Falwell Jr. is Furious and Says Western Virginia Should Secede to Join West Virginia

Jerry Falwell Jr. is quite the guy. When he’s not funneling tens of millions of dollars of funds away from Liberty University for personal use, clubbing his way through South Beach hotspots, hanging out with his wife’s pool boy, or hanging with Donald Trump (Jerry’s pool boy), he often drops by Fox News or other media outlets to give his thoughts on the politics of the day. That’s what evangelical men of God do, nowadays. These holy men and women inform the gullible as to which politicians deserve mana from “Not Quite End-Times Super PAC,” and – most importantly, how one goes about donating to “Not Quite End-Times LLC.”

To that end, Jerry Falwell Jr. went on Fox and Friends the other day to bemoan the state of Virginia. Specifically, Falwell is upset that too many Virginians are voting in Virginia, leaving little voice to the land. From our friends at Crooks and Liars:

“The Washington D.C. suburbs now control every Virginia statewide election and that’s the result of the radical government in Richmond. And they’re passing all kinds of bills that are just contrary to what the majority of Virginians—not the majority of Virginians, but most Virginians as far as land mass, support,” Fallwell Jr. said on Fox News.

Now that is fancy.

Falwell is sick of this democracy shit, he wants the land to have a voice!

Now, I am sure you’re about to point out, that the “land” doesn’t have a thumb, nor a mouth, and thus would have a tough time pulling a voting tab or chosing a candidate. Falwell, quite reasonably (in his divine mind), believes that the person who owns the land would be the one most in-tune with what the land wants, and thus should be able to vote “for the land.”

Actually, as all here know, there was a time – back when Virginians founded the United States, that only white men owning property could vote, and it sure seems like Falwell is hankering for the days when a man was a man and a vote was the land’s, or something like that.

There is another agenda here, according to C&L:

What is really happening is that Falwell Jr. and others are trying to secede from Virginia to join West Virginia. The issue being that northern Virginia has been becoming larger, increasingly more racially diverse, and younger. As a result, the more conservative politics of rural communities have begun to feel sad face emoji. Here’s a deal: you get rid of the Electoral College and stop trying to take away people’s voting rights, and we will consider letting you secede from your state.

Seeing as how I live in Mississippi, I should be the single last person making fun of someone wanting to join West Virginia. But – looking around – since I do seem to be the last person here, let me say: Leave it to a backward boy like Falwell to seek out an opportunity to join backward West Virginia! When he’s not jammin’ to the beats at South Beach, that is.

No dancing, Jerry – and might I add, there appear to be a lot of voters around you.

Anyone wanting to hear more about Falwell’s “Vexit” (Yes, it is a thing, where the land votes to move itself, which would be worth passing just to see it done), here is some video discussing the idea with our boy:

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Peace, y’all

Jason

[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

 

 

 

meet the author

Jason Miciak is an attorney, author, political analyst and writer originally from Canada, with dual citizenship, living with his wife and daughter in southern Mississippi. He has an B.S. in Biology and a Minor in American History from Gonzaga University and a J.D. from the University of California. He does as little law as he can get away with while now doing full time writing for Political Flare. He also enjoys gardening, fishing, casual reading in science and dogs.

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