One of our most reliable and insightful readers passed along the Trump campaign’s email invitation to download the Trump campaign app. I cannot even imagine the amount of information they’re going to steal, it will be stunning. What concerns me is how much information the app might get from people communication in and out (not that I knowingly engage with full-frontal Trumpers, but you never know). I am sure that Google already knows everything there is to know, but that’s Google. This is an international crime syndicate.

Given that we can’t “know” the extent of the information that will surely be lifted, let’s examine what we do know. Anyone who downloads this app, based upon believing one of its promises, is a fking idiot who deserves to have their information stolen.

Indeed, it sounds a lot like a pitch for a religious app. Check this out. (All emphasis in the original email).

He wants to give his TOP supporters, like YOU, a guaranteed opportunity to meet your favorite President at a future event, and all you have to do is download the Official Trump 2020 App to get started.

When you download the app, you’ll instantly unlock exclusive access and start earning points to:

• Meet President Trump on the campaign trail later this year
• Win one-of-a-kind Trump Gear SIGNED by your President
• Take a photo with President Trump at a future event
• And, so much more.

The Trump 2020 App is your ALL-ACCESS PASS to the President and his re-election campaign and President Trump really wants YOU to have it.

We’re sending the President a list of everyone who downloads the app within the NEXT HOUR. Will he see your name?

Where to begin? I am not sure that any president to this point referenced himself as “your president.” I know that I got a ton of stuff from the Obama campaign and I never heard it.

Let’s pretend this is a totally normal year, which is stupid but that’s how they’ll roll at this point. Do the MAGA-heads actually believe that – even in a normal year – that simply downloading the app will get you a meet and greet with Trump? I assume “meeting” Trump costs five figures minimum, and that is probably naive on my part. Yet they’re to believe that an invitation is a done deal for nothing more than downloading an app!

GEAR?? F-me. Signed by Trump. So now he’s your local NFL team or your alma-mater in marketing? Are they asking for season tickets or political support? Is there any difference nowadays? I know that there is a lot of hatred between Bama and Auburn fans. Maybe the Trump campaign is really onto something since the goal is to maximize profit first, the win is second.

Take a photo “with” Trump. I have to believe that means YOU will get to take a picture of Trump – it may be from the upper deck, but you WILL get that chance. Ha ha, we’re assuming they mean any part of this, which is nuts.

He really wants “you,” personally, John Donne of Tusla Oklah0ma, a sergeant in the Tulsa complex crime unit, regular good American dad person who gets Trump apps!! He knows “you,” John. See? Here it sounds religious. Jesus may “know” you, but we ascribe religious spirituality and something “higher” to religious relationships. Does “John” actually believe Trump cares at all about John “individually”? A better question, can John tell the difference between Trump and Jesus?

If John believes any of this, John deserves to have Trump giggling at the nude pics of John’s wife on the phone that the app downloaded to Trump. “So stupid,” Trump says, about otherwise semi-decent (likely) but misguided Americans.

Let’s say you were on the campaign staff. (You were abducted or something. Play along.) And you even knew that this kind of stuff was “effective enough” that this was the way to go about doing it. Would you even be able to write it? Knowing what all they had planned for the information? Knowing it was all bullshit? I doubt it.

So stupid.

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Peace, y’all

Jason

[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom