Politics - News Analysis

Melania’s Former BFF Spills the Beans on the Trump’s ‘Transactional’ Marriage, ‘Arm Candy for Security’

Hey, surprise surprise! The guy who wrote “The Art of the Deal” made quite the deal in his marriage contract.

Let’s recite the legal definition of a “contract,” the same one we all wrote in our Contract Law final as a 1L. “A contract is a legally enforceable agreement, all contracts are made up of an offer, acceptance, and consideration.” We will be focusing on the “consideration” element. Simply put “consideration” is anything traded of value. And before anyone leaps to the logical conclusion, we were also taught that “sex” is not consideration. If the parties believe sex is consideration, they’re not contractees, they’re conspirators to a crime.

And – surprise – sex isn’t an element of Donald and Melania’s contract, either.

We should be more specific. According to Melania’s former best friend Stephanie Winston-Wolkoff, sex isn’t the legal consideration. That’s not to say that sex didn’t start out as the only “consideration” in Donald’s mind. But when the marriage came around, it wasn’t necessarily part of the transaction.

As we hear from the Guardian, Winston-Wolkoff says their contractual agreement is far more practical and less passionate:

Melania Trump‘s former best friend has claimed that the first lady’s marriage to President Donald Trump is a ‘transactional’ trade in which he gets ‘arm candy’ and she gets security. 

‘I do believe it’s a transactional marriage. Donald got arm candy,‘ said Stephanie Winston Wolkoff in an interview with the BBC on Friday.

‘Melania got two dynamic decades. She was a young model, she didn’t have success yet. She met Donald, she married, she became an American citizen, they had a son and ten years after that she’s the first lady of the United States,’ Wolkoff said.

Well, we’re convinced. Still, if one’s looking for arm candy, couldn’t he have gotten someone a little sweeter? Less hard? Most of us would pick out a Tootsie Roll or Bit o’ Honey, maybe even a Hot Tamale or Twizzler if we’re looking for something wild. Meanwhile, Trump went with the Lemontart. Maybe Milk Dud is more appropriate. And good lord above, god knows she could’ve gotten far more security than the guy who’s not a billionaire and a guy who – ahem – was “naked in the entirety” while rumping with the porn star. That seems more like Russian roulette than security. Of course, both are quite comfortable playing Russian roulette.

Where were we?

Oh, the marriage! Yes. Well, it wasn’t out of love or respect. There is no indication that either of these two love or respect anyone beyond themselves and possibly one or two of the children each has helped to create. Let’s put it this way, we seriously doubt that there’s any need for AC in the residence of the White House. Brrrr.

Thanks, Stephanie. Not that it’s breaking news, but thanks for confirming what’s before our eyes.

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peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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