Election 2020

Trevor Noah Has a Theory About Why Melania Trump Remains Married to Husband Donald

In a funny bit Monday for The Daily Show, host Trevor Noah hilariously derided President Donald Trump’s finances and made an interesting suggestion as to why First Lady Melania Trump hasn’t divorced him yet. It’s a suggestion I’ve not seen anyone else mention before, but it is pretty funny and it makes total sense.

Melania is on the line for half of that $400 million debt Trump allegedly owes and it’s not something she remotely wants to share, he noted, according to The Independent and Vanity Fair report.

“If she divorces him, she gets half of the $400 million in debt,” Noah added, describing Donald Trump’s financial problems as the “Rosetta Stone” that pretty much describes why he behaves as he does in the White House.

But Noah didn’t just limit his criticism to Melania and zeroed in on her husband.

“Hold on, hold on — the president of the country almost never pays taxes? And when he does, he only pays $750?” Noah said. “Yo, that sh*t pisses me off. Because Trump is always out there like, ‘We’re building back our military.'”

“We?” he added. “No, motherf*cker. We’re building back the military — you didn’t pay for shit. If you didn’t chip in, you don’t get to put your name on the card.”

The late-night host couldn’t help but remark that Stormy Daniels fared better than the IRS.

“And just for those keeping score, Trump paid $750 in taxes and $130,000 to a porn star,” who was paid by Trump’s former personal attorney Michael Cohen after the alleged affair. “Which means if the IRS wants to get money from Trump, you guys know what you got to do.”

Noah’s sharp commentary was bitingly funny, and is probably truer than any of us will ever know. This quick-witted comedian has definitely got the president’s number and he suggests this is a man who’s running scared.

“Trump doesn’t actually want to be president,” Noah wisecracked. “He just really needs that Secret Service protection.”

“Sh*t, if I had $400 million in loans coming due, I’d also be trying to cancel the election.”

Noah said he thinks this is why Trump wanted Bernie Sanders to edge out Biden and win the Democratic nomination.

“He wanted him to win so that the government would bail him out,” Noah quipped. “It even explains why Trump has been destroying the post office. Good luck collecting your money when you can’t mail him a bill.”

Trump’s financial woes have been laid bare by an extensively researched report from The New York Times that alleges Trump holds at least $400 million in debt that will be due in the next four years.

Maybe it’s time for Noah to be the next debate moderator. He’s adept at cutting through the crap.

Here’s what Noah had to say:

meet the author

Megan has lived in California, Nevada, Arizona, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Florida and she currently lives in Central America. Living in these places has informed her writing on politics, science, and history. She is currently owned by 15 cats and 3 dogs and regularly owns Trump supporters when she has the opportunity.

Comments

COMMENT POLICY: We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, hard-core profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment!