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Don Jr. Sparks Health Concerns After Posting Bizarre Video From Bed, ‘Is He Stoned?’

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Somewhere, somehow, in some way, there must be a back story to this, and one gets the sense that involves three to four controlled substances, two to three women, none named Kimberly, at least $4,000 in cash no longer in Don Jr.’s wallet, and some serious injuries to areas on a body that we don’t want to see – which is the only part of this that could be called considerate. That is one theory.

OR – Don Jr. has COVID. You decide which is more likely. Personally, I’m going with number one, and then ten days from now he’ll get COVID, along with a couple of other parting gifts.

At some point this evening (this first came out Sunday evening for you people reading this on Monday through next Friday, still not believing it happened), but at some point, in some part of Don Jr.’s frontal lobe – which we assume exists, though we shouldn’t assume too much, the lobe responsible for decision-making, thought this was a good idea. He thought, “Why don’t I put out the tweet that ends all tweets?” Like, if someone were to be seeing their last tweet ever (like all too many COVID patients under his father’s presidency), that person could say, “That’s it, I have now seen it all.”

I so want an explanation, and yet I fear it even more. This appears like something out of Two and a Half Men, or Pulp Fiction, the Director’s Cut, something – some explain … never mind! Do NOT!

As the kool kidz say, WTAF? Except seriously, this time we actually do want to know … do we?

We can only let you know some theories on the net and they’re no more helpful than ours, maybe less funny, maybe more real, but – you judge:

Ya think?

If he’s got COVID, he gets a dispensation on some drugs – SOME – drugs, like the ones that MDs dispense in bottles that are legal to carry around and then you take 2-3 times more than they recommend. That might be acceptable. Maybe.

Truth.

Is it up to us at this site to point out that these are not mutually exclusive? Although, if there was EVER a time to choose one or the other. Do I go with COVID, or Coke? I hear they’re not a great mix …

We have NO IDEA what is going on, beyond the fact that this might have been THE WORST idea in social media history – and way that fully knowing that the Kardashians still around, so that is saying something. In fact, he would’ve been better off having one of the Kardashians in bed with … We’d at least watch a few times with the sound off!

VOTE TRUMP OUT and WE GET RID OF THIS PLAYER, TOO.

Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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