Politics - News Analysis

Trump Says Melania Believes He’s the Most Handsome President Ever, More Attractive Than JFK Even

“The United States seeks a world where the weak are safe and the strong are just.”

“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

John F. Kennedy

“They’ve been put on notice: If you fuck around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are gonna do things to you that have never been done before.”

“I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there, she was married. 

Donald J. Trump

There is a lot that goes into being physically attractive and that’s true of both men and women. If one ran into Melania at a restaurant or a bar one might initially think,  wow, nice-looking woman. But upon talking to her and hearing more and more and more about her without a single question about you, some of that attraction would be lost.

We can’t be sure what was ever attractive about Donald Trump ever. Owning a tower in mid-town Manhattan didn’t hurt. Men can make up for a lot of faults by being quite wealthy. We suppose that goes back tens of thousands of years in evolution and is damned near over.

Regardless, we were still treated to this tonight:

Now, IF WE COULD HAVE FILMED IT, how many of us would have given money to a GoFundMe page to make up for whatever she lost in her pre-nuptial agreement had we had the opportunity to watch Melania say, “Donald you are very attractive, but if we are looking for the most “manly,” “handsome,” “self-assured,” and “proportionately so perfect” we would simply have to look back at Barack Obama who had it all. “After all, Donald, don’t you remember seeing all those pictures of Michelle? Didn’t she just happen to have a happy “glow” about her and muscles like she “worked out” every day? Donald you are very handsome, but if the First Lady got the “First Pick” of any previous president, I would have to say that …”

I’d be in for $250, and I don’t know if I have $250, but I’d find it. It would also bring people back to movie theatres.

Keep in mind, this man actually told this story as if this somehow mattered to the American people in the upcoming election. How did he figure that this mattered? Does he really think that these people believed this conversation actually happened? And if it did happen as he described, is there any possible way she wasn’t counting millions along with her answer?

The rest of the world sees this stuff, you know this, right? How humiliating.

****

Peace, y’all
jason
[email protected] and on Twitter

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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