We are really confused. Christians espouse that they follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, the son of God, who came to bring God’s new promise. And we’ve looked around a bit. Jesus said a lot of important things, stuff we totally agree with, but he must have forgotten to talk about which people everyone’s supposed to hate. It seems as though it would have been painfully easy. He had four guys write books (Gospels) on all he did and one would think that “Who to Hate” would have been an important chapter.

Puzzling.

Right-wing pastor and self-proclaimed prophet Hank Kunneman believes he can remedy Jesus’s oversight. He has a list of things that “God” hates, we do think it’s a bit presumptuous to pretend to know the things God hates more so than Jesus but we’re not prophets: According to Right Wing Watch:

“God hates six things, are you ready? Seven are an abomination. Number one: a proud look. Number two: a lying tongue. Number three: abortion, or hands that shed innocent blood. Yeah, you thought it was okay to vote for him,” Kunneman shouted, referring to Biden.

The fourth thing that God supposedly hates is “a heart that devises wicked imaginations, and yet you voted for them. It’s obvious, their wicked imaginations on how they want to destroy this country,” Kunneman continued, with the fifth item being “feet that are swift in running to mischief. It’s amazing how quickly they signed their executive orders; that’s called feet that run quickly to mischief.”

Kunneman added that “all the lies that happened and false witness that we’ve had to put up with since 2016 on the news” were also an affront to God, although he was not talking about Trump and conservative media outlets such as Fox News, Newsmax, or One America News.

Holy shit. That is an awfully specific list. We might’ve gone with “People who only hate other people,” which seems to cover most of it but what do we know? We’re not prophets. By the way, what the hell is number one? A “proud look?” A proud prophet wouldn’t have made such a damned confusing thing number one, if it’s important enough to be number one, it should be important enough to be clear. Makeup? Suits over $300? Staring him in the eye with a “You’ve got to be fcking kidding me” look?

We just don’t know.

He then got even more confusing, perhaps in an attempt to clear up what he meant by the first six:

“First of all, the president was reelected. Let’s get that clear,” Kunneman insisted. “Second of all, he was given a second term based on reelection. ‘Well, he’s not serving it now?’ Because it was stolen by thieves.”

We wonder if, when talking about Trump, the pastor capitalizes the “H” in “He.” It sounds like it. In all seriousness, we’ve read some essays that note that the MAGA movement is well on its way to becoming its own religion. Religions have been founded on far less. To which, we can only respond, “On its way?”

Right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman has a message for the critics who are mocking him and calling him a false prophet for repeatedly prophesying Trump's reelection: God hates you. https://t.co/FeKZeXhS9P pic.twitter.com/xokeRW8d89

— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) January 25, 2021

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak