First, be assured that at 12:01 tomorrow, Trump will have no ability to launch nuclear Armageddon against anyone. Second, we should maybe be somewhat mystified that Trump could still do so at 11:59 a.m, even from a golf course in Florida. Third, this is, of course, insane and the perfect ending to the perfectly horrific four years.

Yes, the “football” that contains all the sophisticated computer technology and communication ability needed to initiate the launch of nuclear weapons follows the president wherever he or she may be at any one time. But the transition is usually not a big deal because the damned thing is just held at the Capitol while one guy is sworn in. Everyone knows exactly who can order what and when.

It probably doesn’t seem like any big deal except that if there ever was a situation where someone wanted to take advantage of the confusion, the 11:00 hour on inauguration day would be as good a time as any.

The point is likely moot because The Onion once reported that Barack Obama decided it might be a good idea to just keep the codes tucked in his wallet for safety on his way out the door.

Anyway, this year, because Trump is too petulant and immature to attend his successor’s swearing-in, the military has been forced to make a second football to remain in Washington and be available to President Biden as he’s sworn in. Quite obviously there is almost no chance that this becomes a real issue except a gigantic embarrassment to the nation. Even if Trump just remained in the White House until Biden raised his hand, the stupid briefcase could just be driven a dozen blocks up the street. Some of the dreadful details come from Mediaite:

“The most important briefcase in the world, carried by the military and never far from the President of the United States,” said CNN’s Barbara Starr, adding, “The case holds the highly classified equipment and authorities needed for our president to order the military to launch a nuclear weapon.”

Because Trump is not attending the inauguration, where the briefcase is generally handed off to the incoming president, the military had to prepare a second briefcase. One will go to President-elect Joe Biden once he is sworn into office, while the other will be with Trump in Florida until he no longer has power.

Knowing Trump, he plans on keeping the dead football around as a souvenir to sell later on … to the Russians, the people who are quite clever with computers.

God help us all. We have almost made it, at least through the “presidential stage.”

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak