Politics - News Analysis

Trump Spokesman Says Trump is the Most Masculine President to Ever Hold the White House

Sweet baby Jesus, really?

Part of the lingo franco going around is that Twitter’s axe worked to emasculate that self-impressed man in the White House.

But that cannot possibly be true because that’s a terrible thing to say. Donald Trump is a man’s man. Who else brags about grabbing women? Doesn’t that make him a real man? No? Correct, real men would rather grab themselves than grab a woman.

What else? Golf? Well, golf is fun, but no one does it to prove their manhood.

Scowling all the time? Look at his very serious picture on Twitter … never mind, his caption was a great glare, like a man’s man. Pffft.

How about walk-in music as played by a gay 70s band in costume? Actually, that would be much more confidently masculine except that Trump does it solely to hear the words “Macho macho man” thing in it.

It is pretty clear that the traits that Trump considers “masculine” are nothing but those of a baby desperately covering up his own insecurities. Real men, as some of us aspire to be, are fairly confident in our own skin, a lot like the women we’re around. We really don’t spend much time giving a fck about whether “masculine Republicans” consider us “masculine” or not. It’s really not on our radar. We care about what our daughters think.

But Trump really does care, a lot, about anyone thinking he’s not the “most masculine man to ever hold the office.”

That’s a “tough” crowd, lots of good candidates; George Washington was a pretty tough guy because he won the war founding this country, Thomas Jefferson wrote most of our founding documents, purchased most of the red states, was a decent president, read so many books that his library became the library of congress and is still considered America’s best architect, pretty good. Lincoln? Won a war along with freeing everyone. Teddy Roosevelt went to Africa and shot mean things back when you had to get pretty close to those heart-achingly beautiful mean things. Ike won World War II, even Kennedy played football … Obama was cooler but …

Damn, Trump’s right. In his own head he is the most “manly” of them all. Hogan Gidley is the White House spokesperson with a direct line into Trump’s head and thus knows what to say, which is how we learned this important fact in the first place:

Bill Hemmer directly asked, “With the social media crackdown, does he feel emasculated? Especially as he heads out of office?”

I wouldn’t say emasculated. The most masculine person I think to ever hold the White House is the president of the United States.

Gerald Ford played football at Michigan. Jimmy Carter was a nuclear engineer in the Navy … But absolutely none of them were cut by Twitter and still alive the next day! Man’s man! Tougher than you!

Sweet baby Jesus, what is it now? Nine days, ten? Maximum? It will feel like a year.



Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak


meet the author

Jason Miciak is an attorney, author, political analyst and writer originally from Canada, with dual citizenship, living with his wife and daughter in southern Mississippi. He has an B.S. in Biology and a Minor in American History from Gonzaga University and a J.D. from the University of California. He does as little law as he can get away with while now doing full time writing for Political Flare. He also enjoys gardening, fishing, casual reading in science and dogs.


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