Politics - News Analysis

Jim Bakker’s Guest Warns that COVID Tests Are a Plan to Bring About the Zombie Apocalypse, Because Why Not?

There are some that exist so far to the right that it only takes another step or two to eclipse the sanity event horizon. One step over the event horizon and no one hears from them again, except those providing nursing and health care services.

This is awfully close.

Jim Bakker has fallen so far, so fast, that he needs to attract viewers with whatever it takes to get them. Conspiracy theories are the MAGA movement’s oxygen. So Bakker brought on right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle to warn about aliens, demons, trans-dimensional beings, and โ€œdiseases that are designed to initiate cannibalism in human beingsโ€ and, thus – of course, turning them into literal zombies.

But, how would we tell from all the other MAGAs?

Let’s ask the expert:

โ€œZombies that are on the Earth are a disease like any other disease that affects people, and they become like zombies. Is that right?โ€ Bakker asked.

*That’s not a disease like any other disease on earth*

โ€œThatโ€™s only part of the story,โ€ Quayle replied. โ€œZombies also have the evil spiritual entity known as demon possession.โ€

โ€œThe best way to explain zombiesโ€™ blood lust is this: the appetite of demons expressed through humans. It should be astonishing to people that the richest people in the worldโ€”not all of them but some of themโ€”are into occult ceremonies where they have to drink blood thatโ€™s extracted from a t*tured child. Now thatโ€™s sick, but thatโ€™s the appetite of demons expressed through humans.โ€

*It is sick, and so are the people that think it’s true. With the exception Mark Zuck… we know of no rich demon zombies. We do know of ones that eat all platforms daring to compete with them.

โ€œThey can induce zombieism, at least the appetite for human flesh. If this is all wild stuff, why does the military have a manual about it? Why does the CDC even have anything on their [website]? Remember, the Center for Disease Controlโ€”or Creation, I call it, thatโ€™s my opinion. The whole subject of zombies could be just boiled down at one end to a genetically modified human that is no longer human on the level that you and I or a living being is. Then that corpse, that walkingโ€”animated, thereโ€™s a better word, itโ€™s not livingโ€”an animated corpse is possessed by a demonic entity. That demonic entity has knowledge, it has sentience, it hasโ€”how do I say this?โ€”thereโ€™s a purpose to do nothing else but to destroy.โ€

You almost have to feel a bit sorry for anyone who watches this and believes it. They clearly have no capacity for rational thought, nor the ability to ask, is it actually true that the military has a manual for it? (If it is, we’d like to read that manual ourselves). This is how guys like Bakker extort money from almost innocent people.

****

Peace, y’all
Jason
jmiciak@yahoo.com and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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