This will probably go well.

Matt Gaetz is very angry, blaming just about everyone, even some of his fellow MAGAs in Congress, for all these injustices put upon him. And he would like to tell everyone all about it in an Op-Ed in the Washington Examiner. Quite clearly, Matt Gaetz doesn’t have an attorney yet, because attorneys generally discourage someone from writing this type of stuff:

Let me first remind everyone that I am a representative in Congress, not a monk, and certainly not a criminal.

It comes as no surprise that my political opponents want to sensationalize and criminalize my prior s@x life just as I am getting engaged to the best person I’ve ever known. It is regrettable that the battle of ideas should thus become so personal. But then again, when your ideas suck, you need to stoop this low.

One generally doesn’t use the word “suck” in an Op-Ed in the exact same paragraph that you’re discussing someone making allegations about your s@x life and in a matter in which you’ve been accused of acting like a grown frat boy. Additionally, it is weird that he would blame Democrats, given that these allegations are coming from sources inside law-enforcement and …Oh, no. He believes this is political:

My personal life is and always has been conducted on my own time and my own dime. Consensual adult relationships are not illegal. Although I’m sure some partisan crooks in Merrick Garland’s Justice Department want to change the truth and the law to go after me, I will not be intimidated or extorted. The battle for America’s future demands gladiators, and I am going to keep getting back up and fighting, every single day.

This guy spent far too much time around Trump. First of all, how can it be political when the investigation began under Bill Barr, which sort of means like it was under Donald Trump? Just for fun, he calls himself a gladiator. Trump couldn’t have done it better.

You’ll see more “drip, drip, drip” of leaks into the media from the corrupt Justice Department and others. When you do, ask yourself why. They aren’t coming for me — they are coming for you. I’m just in the way.

So much more will come out, but Matt Gaetz wants you to know that all this evidence is to get you, the reader, and the only thing that can protect you is Matt Gaetz, so ignore all that awful stuff you hear because it’s meant to get you.

Matt Gaetz needs to get a very good attorney.

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak