Politics - News Analysis

Maybe NOW MAGA Men Will Get Vaccinated: COVID Can Cause Long-Term Impotency

There is a joke somewhere lingering in the ether about some MAGAs thinking with their things, but we’re not quite ready to admit that MAGAs think with any part of their body. But some people are ready to take a “shot” at it, meaning encouraging MAGA men (perhaps encouraged by their wives and girlfriends) to get their vaccination shot. The shot is better than getting COVID-19 because, yes, new research shows COVID can cause long-term erectile dysfunction.

It would be fair to point out that research has also shown that COVID-19 causes long-term death. One would be safe in presuming it is tough getting anything up if one is dead. But we’ll leave that aside. We are going to get in enough trouble with this column as is.

Leave it to those smart, common sense, Canadians, to do the research. After all, Canadians, even dual-citizen Canadians, are internationally known as some of the world’s best lovers and it would be just like those geniuses to engage in the scientific due diligence necessary to protect their due diligence in every other endeavor.

The Toronto Sun says that ” the deadly virus can cause inflammation in the endothelium, the inner lining of blood vessels. The arteries supplying the genitals with much-needed blood are small and narrow. Inflammation disrupts the blood vessels causing problems with the male’s sexual performance.”

Many of us got vaccinated to keep ourselves alive. But it is nice to know that, having had the vaccine, we’ll be able to help others get short of breath while calling out for god.

There is an evolutionary aspect to this, also. (There always is, mother nature never takes a day off.) Men who decide to forgo the shot may never be able to …ahem, pass on their genes. Some of us wear masks even though we’re fully vaccinated, just to protect humanity generally. Perhaps some of us would be willing to do even more to help the species. (Damn, Nicole is going to fire someone).

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We could say more. We’re almost dying to say more. We could rift all day on this story. But seeing as how we might be looking for new work by the end of the day anyway, we best spend our remaining time noting that if there are any young single dermatologists or orthodontists out there who swoon over mediocre writing, full vaccinations, and dual-citizen, due-diligent, Canadians, well…

Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak




meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.


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