It is an absolute fact that whenever someone left of the right cliff heard Mike Lindell speak, that person spent twenty minutes wondering why the hell that man has hundred of millions of dollars and we’re terrified of the mortgage each month? The guy with hundreds of millions could say something so obviously ridiculous that you could unscrew it in thirty seconds, and yet it’s that dude with all that money. Over a pillow! A pillow!

We guarantee, absolutely guarantee, that he took the design of those pretty good pillows in the $125-$200 hotel rooms, made the exact same damn thing and then went on TV and talked and screamed in a manner so over the top that we couldn’t possibly have done it, even for hundreds of millions because we all have a sense of shame. It is worth it, that snese of shame. It’s just sometimes expensive.

But as we said, it’s ridiculous because he can’t put a sentence together, he can’t walk correctly, and he’s got an IQ the rivals a faucet. We have an example from Mediaite, in which Lindell both nearly falls over himself, and then “falls” for the easiest joke of all time, a fake call from Trump.

The call came during a live stream promotion of Lindell’s new social media platform “Frank” which promises to embrace free speech and the First Amendment, but curiously, does not allow for the Lord’s name to be taken in vain.

The new social media platform is launching on Monday, Patriot’s Day, and Lindell appeared to delight in learning that he would be receiving a phone call during the promotional live stream from Trump, who he referred to reverentially as “the real president.”

As Lindell puts his smartphone on speaker mode, viewers hear Trump’s voice saying “Hello everyone.”

What follows is an unintelligible string of what appear to be obscenities, that lands on the word “bitches,” which Lindell quickly turns off his phone with reasonable chagrin.

“I guess that wasn’t…” he starts, before pivoting to playing victim to the prank caller. “You see what they are doing, they are attacking us?” He then suggested “they” are “hacking into our phones,” which is a pretty big allegation when it appears that someone just called his number?

As you contemplate why it is that your salary is five figures and somehow that guy is… just know, it is worth it. You have paid hundreds of millions of dollars for an appropriate sense of shame. It is expensive, but absolutely worth it.

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak